Friends With (Maternity) Benefits
by Snafu1000
Summary: For years, Liara has managed to conceal the fact that she was in love with Lisbeth Shepard, but the Asari matriarchs have a proposition for them both that could change everything.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note – Another de-anon from the kinkmeme. A couple of years back, I had hit a wall on Moments In Time & the other stories. Some of the prompts on the kinkmeme nudged aside my writer's block, but I felt bad for spending time on them & not my other stuff, so I just left them anonymous._

 _Fair warning: this one is quite a bit longer than Dance With Me and a LOT darker, with depictions of domestic abuse, both physical and emotional, though I don't get too graphic with it. It's also not finished yet, something that I'm hoping that posting it here will rectify. I've got more edits that I want to do on this one, too, so it'll be going up at a slower pace, likely a chapter a week-ish._

 _That said, this is one of my personal favorites because of all the crew appearances that I managed to wedge in._

* * *

"They want me to _what_?" Lisbeth Shepard looked at her best friend as though she had started speaking an unknown language.

Liara T'Soni felt the blush race from her toes to the tips of her crest, and if there was any mercy at all in the universe, a hole would open in the floor beneath her before she managed to repeat what she'd said. No reprieve seemed forthcoming, however, so she forced the words out. "Several of our most respected matriarchs have approached me. They feel -" She swallowed hard, pushed on. "They feel that you are a superior example of the human species, and wanted me to ask if you would be willing to be the father of an asari child."

"That's what I thought you said." Lisbeth blinked, looking bemused, then chuckled. "It's a little more eloquent than the mating request I got from the krogan, anyway."

"Goddess, Shepard." Liara dropped her face into her hand, wondering if it was possible for her face to burst into flame. "I told them I would pass on their request, and I have. Now, could we just forget -"

"Lia, it's all right." A gentle grip pried her hand away from her face, and she found herself looking into brown eyes gleaming with amusement. "Really, it is."

The smile settled some of her mortification, and Liara managed a shaky laugh. "It's just so ridiculous!"

"Not really." Shepard shrugged. "The asari prize genetic diversity. I suppose I should be flattered." She settled back on the couch, her smile becoming whimsical as she asked the question that Liara had been desperately hoping she wouldn't. "Have they picked out a mother, or do I get to choose?"

"They -" Goddess, could this get any more awkward? Why couldn't she lie to Shepard as easily she had learned to lie to so many others as the Shadow Broker? "They suggested that I would be a suitable candidate … unless you had another preference."

"Unless _I_ had another preference?" A hint of irritation sparked in Lisbeth's eyes. "Did they ask _you_ what your preference would be, or did they just volunteer you as a brood mare?"

"It's not like that, Beth," she protested. "Motherhood among the asari is seen as a great honor, and a great responsibility. It is never a choice that is forced upon anyone. I was actually a bit surprised that they would think me worthy, between being a pureblood and the crimes of my mother."

A hand slipped into hers. "Your mother fell victim to Sovereign's indoctrination," Shepard said firmly, "and I think that what you've accomplished should have made them think twice about the worth of purebloods. You'd make a wonderful mother, Lia, but what do _you_ want?"

Liara looked at Shepard in shock. She'd expected Lisbeth to reject the entire notion out of hand, had been dreading being the one to bring the ridiculous proposition to the Commander. She certainly hadn't expected Shepard to seem to be actually giving the idea consideration. "I – I hadn't really thought about it," she managed, hoping that Lisbeth couldn't see through the lie. She had thought of little else since the matriarchs had spoken to her.

Shepard frowned. "Hell, Lia, you'd be the one carrying the baby, giving birth, raising her. You'd be the one making the century-long commitment. All I'd be doing is donating my genetic pattern. We don't even have to have sex." She paused, a faint look of consternation touching her features. "Do we?"

"No," Liara confirmed, still trying to comprehend how they had seemed to have moved so quickly past whether they should do it to how they could. "Asari reproduction does not require the sexual contact that most other species need, although it is frequently engaged in for the comfort of the partner, as well as mutual pleasure." She was trying to be clinical, but she could feel the blush trying to start again. Shepard would not require either of those things from her, had never seemed to need them from anyone.

Lisbeth nodded, seeming neither embarrassed nor surprised, though the look of concern remained. "And Feron? How is your bondmate going to react to you having someone else's child? Have you discussed it with him?"

"Not yet." Liara realized that she _had_ managed to lie to Shepard about something. Two somethings, actually. She and Feron were lovers, but he was not her bondmate. She was unsure if it was pity or gratitude that had led her to accept his advances. She cared for him, and he had covered over an aching hole in her life … but he had never been able to fill it. And he knew it. Resentment and the psychological scars from two years of torture had twisted him into a dark shadow of who he had been, but Liara owed him too much to walk away. She was the reason he had been caught. She and Shepard. Lisbeth still saw him as the one who had sacrificed everything to keep her away from the Collectors and return her to life. There was so much that she didn't know, and Liara couldn't tell her. "I didn't even think … Beth, would you actually do this?"

Lisbeth shrugged. "Why not? I'm not likely to have a kid any other way." She spoke matter-of-factly, without a trace of bitterness, but it still made Liara's heart ache. It seemed unfair that the hero who had saved trillions of lives should be alone, even if Shepard seemed untroubled by it. She had numerous close friends: Liara, Ashley, Garrus, Wrex, Miranda … so many others who had fought alongside her against the Reapers. She'd had lovers, as well, but as far as Liara could tell, the two groups never intersected. "I can't think of any asari I'd trust more than you, but Feron's going to have to be okay with it first. I mean … assuming you even want to do it."

"I … I need to think about it," Liara managed, her mind spinning. "I didn't think you'd even be interested. You've never mentioned wanting to have children."

"There didn't seem to be much point before," Beth observed. "Not with the Reapers hanging over everything, but now ..." She trailed off, brown eyes softening. "Everybody wants a little bit of immortality, I guess. Never really thought I'd get the chance, but with you? You're my best friend. We've melded lots of times; this wouldn't be much different, would it?"

"A mating meld is deeper than anything we have shared," Liara told her. "It will involve more than just sharing thoughts. My nervous system will attune to yours as I imprint your genetic pattern. For a period of time, we will be as one. One mind, two bodies." She couldn't decide whether she wanted that information to dissuade Shepard or not, but she wasn't surprised when Lisbeth shrugged again.

"I've got nothing to hide from you," she said easily, her face open, and Liara knew it was true. Beth had trusted her with so many things over the years, just as Liara had trusted Lisbeth … with all but two secrets. "Think about it, talk to Feron about it and let me know. No pressure."

Liara nodded, forcing a smile. "No pressure," she agreed, though nothing could be further from the truth. She already knew that she would agree, no matter what Feron said, but she was going to have to figure out how, in the unparalleled intimacy of a meld that she had never before attempted, to conceal the fact that she was in love with her best friend.

* * *

Liara had known before she got home that Feron would be drinking; he hid it well in front of others, but he did little else these days. The only question was what turn his mood had taken under the alcohol's influence. Most often, he became maudlin and despondent, lost in his past; occasionally he grew sullen. Even more rarely, though with increasing frequency, his emotions took an ugly turn, blaming Liara for all that he had suffered at the Shadow Broker's hands.

She wondered sometimes, if she had been able to return his affections as he wanted her to, would he still have deteriorated so badly? There was no doubt in her mind, however, that she did indeed bear the responsibility for what had befallen him, so she accepted his mercurial shifts as no more than her due, though she tried to avoid words and actions that she knew would incite his rage.

Like telling him she had been to see Shepard.

She had never admitted her feelings for Lisbeth to him, had worked to keep them from him even during their limited melds, but he had been a skilled information broker before they met, and he had likely known even before they moved in together. He never spoke of it, leaving it festering in the silences between them until the alcohol brought it boiling to the surface.

Her fervent prayer that today would be one of his less volatile days went unanswered. When she entered the small London flat that they shared, he was sitting at the kitchen table, a half-empty bottle of whiskey in front of him.

"Where have you been?" His dark eyes all but lost in the ebony void of his scleras, he watched her coldly as she closed the front door, and she could feel the barely leashed violence simmering in the air. He had been no stranger to the harsher methods of obtaining information even before his capture, and the yahg had provided a brutally thorough first-hand completion to his education. He knew how to cause pain without leaving marks or doing lasting damage.

"I was visiting with Beth," she replied as casually as possible, despite her racing heart. When he was like this, showing fear only fueled the fire. She was going to have to tell him, but now was not the time. Tomorrow, maybe, after he had slept off his current mood and before he started drinking ...

"About the matriarch's proposal?"

She was the Shadow Broker. She had uncovered secrets that could topple governments, made decisions that had cost lives and saved them, ordered assassinations and prevented them, and done it all without flinching, but in that moment, she could only stare at him, frozen in shock and fear as he stood and walked around the table with a predator's stride, no hint of inebriation in his gait.

"Did you think I wouldn't find out?" he asked in the deceptively calm voice that she knew from experience presaged the worst. "Were you even planning on telling me, or were you just going to let me think it was mine?" He cocked his head, considering her. "It's not like I'd be able to tell, is it?"

"No!" she protested, finding her voice. The idea had never occurred to her. "I would never do that, Feron! But I needed to talk to Beth before I -"

He struck too quickly for the eye to follow. The blow to the solar plexus cut off her words and left her gasping for breath on the floor. She braced herself for worse, but he just stood over her.

"You think this will make her love you?" His voice dripped with a knowing contempt. "Give her a child, and the great and noble Lisbeth Shepard will forget that you are the Shadow Broker? That you spend your days swimming in the cesspool that she won't touch? Killing people, selling secrets, ruining lives … all for your _dear_ Commander Shepard." He shook his head with an ugly laugh. "She'll let you dirty your hands in her name, but she'll never soil herself with the likes of you!"

"It's not like that!" she sobbed. He knew how to cause physical pain, but he knew the power of words, as well, and after the time they'd spent getting Shepard's body away from the Shadow Broker and almost a year as lovers, he knew every one of her vulnerabilities. Every insecurity, every secret shame.

"Yes, it is!" He sank to his knees beside her, suddenly earnest, pleading. "She'll never love you, never appreciate and understand all you've done for her, for the galaxy. I'm the only one who knows you, the only one who will love you. Let me love you, Liara." His hands caught her wrists in a painful grip, his expression a wretched parody of tenderness. "You can have Shepard's baby, just let me love you!"

No matter how much it sounded like a plea, Liara knew a command when she heard it. She swallowed her tears and nodded, let him pull her to her feet and guide her toward the bedroom, only able to be relieved that the worst was past, that there would be no beating. What would come next was familiar, bearable and seldom too physically painful, even if it was frequently humiliating, degrading. After two years of being under the Shadow Broker's control, helpless, Feron desperately needed to have uncontested control over something. Someone. She could give him that, because in his broken way, she knew that he did love her, and maybe … maybe this time, it would be enough.

But it was no more than she deserved.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Notes: Many thanks for the warm reception! As I mentioned earlier, no this has not been finished yet, but I do intend to correct that, and moving it here is the first step._

 _Many thanks to those who have read, faved & followed, with special shout outs to my reviewers: melanie.9400, devildoc35, The Darklight Angel, acevolkner & the eternally anonymous Guest._

* * *

She couldn't go through with it.

She had been awake for most of the night, thoughts tumbling over each other as Feron slept beside her, and she reached the same conclusion time and again. She couldn't bring a child into this hell, couldn't expose an innocent, a baby - Lisbeth's baby – to her lover's slowly increasing rage. And she couldn't leave Feron, couldn't tell Shepard. Beth would kill him.

She lay motionless, tears sliding down her cheeks in silence, not daring to risk waking him by leaving the bed. She finally drifted into fitful slumber shortly before dawn, woke to find Feron gone. It was unusual for him to go out before noon these days, but not unheard of, and she accepted the reprieve gratefully, staying in the shower until the water grew tepid, letting the heated spray soothe away the soreness of the previous night's activity. If only the memories could be so easily assuaged.

Hot tea and toast with jam broke her fast, and she used her omni-tool to contact Shepard to arrange to meet at lunch. She could tell her then. Beth wouldn't question her choice, likely wouldn't even bring it up again. The matriarchs would just have to accept it … but would they? The thought that they might approach Shepard with another candidate, the thought that Lisbeth might want a child badly enough to accept, made the last bite of bread and raspberry jam stick in her throat like cement, but she would just have to live with the possibility. She had no choice.

The repairs to the Normandy were almost complete. The SR2 had been severely damaged in the final battle against the Reapers, limping back into orbit at ten percent function, life support and the sub-light engines virtually the only systems still operating. The shielding that Liara had placed around the electronics in her own quarters had largely protected them from the damage that had ravaged the rest of the ship's systems, and even while repairs were underway, it had been more practical to leave everything in place than to try to locate a secure facility and attempt to relocate without drawing attention.

When the Crucible had fired, the wave of energy that it sent through the mass relays had knocked them all offline; the same energy had scrambled FTL communications throughout the galaxy. She'd had less than a dozen quantum entanglement communicators distributed among her most dependable agents, and for nearly a month, that had been her sole link to the galaxy beyond the Sol system. Arranging leaks of important information had been tricky, such as when word had come of an attempted uprising of the krogan that had been trapped on Palaven. Fortunately, Wrex was one of the few who knew that she was the Shadow Broker, and his orders to stand down had been obeyed.

The communications relays had been repaired first, and one by one, the mass relays were coming back online. Within another six months, ninety percent of the pre-Reaper galaxy would be reachable, either by relay or FTL travel. She could have left Earth, returned to Thessia or Ilium. Feron had pressed for it, but she had refused. She could be the Shadow Broker anywhere, and Shepard was here. She had paid for that defiance in a hundred ways, great and small, when they were alone in their flat, but it was a price she accepted.

"Good morning, Dr. T'soni." Her VI and assistant zipped promptly to the door as it opened.

"Good morning, Glyph," she replied. The door slid closed behind her, and she drew a deep, grateful breath. In this room, she was the Shadow Broker, with dozens of secrets and dilemmas to distract her from the mess that her personal life had become. Things had remained relatively quiet since she had left the previous afternoon. She received updates from half a dozen operatives, passed word to a volus embassy that an elcor ship loaded with supplies was bound at FTL speed to an isolated colony that had recently sent out a distress call due to dwindling food reserves, received word that another holdout Cerberus cell had been identified and forwarded the coordinates to her contact in the Alliance.

As much as possible, she had turned the vast network of the Shadow Broker's intelligence gathering away from profit and toward doing good in the galaxy. That her own judgment was the sole ruling as to what constituted 'good' troubled her more than a little sometimes, but one worked with what one had. It had been relatively easy during the war, as almost all of her energies had been focused on finding information on completing the Crucible or anything that might help Shepard bring the squabbling factions into some kind of alliance.

Before that, though … she had come so very close to becoming the thing she had fought against. Getting Lisbeth's lifeless body away from the Shadow Broker had required a ruthlessness that she had not ever suspected herself capable of. Turning it over to Cerberus had required something else entirely: a desperation great enough to grasp at the finest threads of promise. Then for two years, nothing to hold to at all, thinking Feron dead and likely Beth, as well. Revenge had become her sole focus, and she had made more than one sacrifice on the altar of that dark god: innocence, trust, mercy, honesty. Her intelligence and analytic mind were part of what had made her a successful information broker, but if that had been all, she never would have survived. But perhaps that would have been best...

Pulling herself away from her bleak thoughts, she glanced at the clock. Fifteen minutes to meet Beth. She closed out her files, engaged security protocols. Normally, she would return to work after lunch, but she doubted that she would be in any condition to focus this afternoon.

As she walked, she rehearsed the words she would say. _'I'm just not ready to be a mother, Beth.'_ And it was true, wasn't it? Barely a century old: still a maiden by most standards, though she hardly felt like one most days. And the things she had seen … the things she had done … how could she possibly be entrusted with the pure innocence of a baby? The taint on her soul would touch it in the womb. Beth didn't know, would never know, goddess willing, and the matriarchs would find another candidate, and they would be right to do so, because Lisbeth Shepard was everything that was good in humanity, and Liara would be happy when her best friend was holding the baby that she wanted and deserved, but a part of her was already curled up in misery at the very thought of it -

"Hey." Startled, she looked up into curious brown eyes, realized she'd nearly walked right into Beth. "Deep thoughts?"

"Just … thinking about work," she managed, giving Shepard a smile of greeting.

Instead of returning the smile, Beth cocked her head, studying her. "If work's making you look like that, maybe it's time to find another yahg to turn the show over to," she quipped with an expression that made it clear that the sentiment beneath the jest was genuine. She lifted her hand beneath Liara's chin, tilting her face up a bit. "You look tired," she observed quietly, not bothering to try to hide her concern. "If this is about the whole baby thing -"

"No," Liara said quickly, even though Beth had given her the perfect opening. She didn't want Shepard blaming herself for something that was Liara's fault. "I just had a rather thorny problem to solve at the office last night and this morning." Only a few people outside the Normandy's core crew knew that Liara T'Soni was the Shadow Broker, and outside of her office on the ship, it was discussed only in carefully worded terms, a discretion that she was doubly glad of now.

Lisbeth nodded, but did not look any less worried. "You know, I retired, and the galaxy didn't end. Maybe you should give it a try."

If it were only so easy. Shepard had set aside the mantle of hero, but Liara knew well enough that she would take it up again, should the need arise. If Liara set aside her usurped throne, walked away, there would be no shortage of those willing to fill the void, most of whom would care little for doing good. The only way would be to destroy everything: all the files, all the secrets, all the equipment. But in doing that, she would destroy the potential for good as well as bad, and she couldn't do that … not yet.

"I'll think about it," she promised, and she would. "Where did you want to eat lunch?"

"Thai all right?" Shepard asked hopefully, and when Liara nodded her assent, fell in beside the asari, her left hand resting lightly against Liara's lower back in a gesture that seemed almost instinctive, maintaining a firm enough contact to push her to the ground if gunfire erupted, but not so firm as to control her movement. It was a simple intimacy that Liara both treasured and dreaded, because Feron loathed it. If he had been here and seen it, she would pay the price later, but he wasn't here, so Liara allowed herself to simply enjoy the moment, edging a bit closer to Lisbeth and allowing the soldier to guide their path.

Shepard's favorite restaurant was always crowded at lunch, but she preferred to eat in the park across the street, and the chef was always happy to provide a takeout order for the galaxy's savior. Within ten minutes, they had settled beneath a massive oak tree whose broken limbs and scarred trunk proclaimed it another survivor of the battle to free Earth from the Reapers. Beth passed Liara her box of lemongrass chicken and a set of chopsticks, then dug into her own extra-spicy pad Thai.

"How was your morning?" Liara asked, more than willing to delay more serious discussions. The spring day was bright, clear and warm, and the little park was doing an admirable job of returning to life after the double-punch of war and winter.

"Not bad," Beth replied. "Spent some time working with Jack and her kids. Rodriguez is really starting to come along on her fine control."

Liara nodded approvingly. "She needed the right teacher."

"Jack's done a damn good job of teaching those kids," Shepard spoke up in defense of her friend.

"That she has," Liara agreed readily, "but while she is undoubtedly the stronger biotic, you have better control." It was that control that made Lisbeth Shepard such a devastatingly effective vanguard. She could send a shockwave between two teacups set a foot apart without tipping either or flatten a fifteen foot wide swath fifty feet in front of her.

"Subtlety isn't Jack's strong point," Beth agreed, then grinned. "She did like my idea of having Rodriguez use her biotics to crack the eggs for everybody's breakfast, though. And when I showed her how to scramble them with her hand on the bottom of the bowl? You should have seen their faces, and then they all wanted to try it. Rodriguez was the only one who managed it without slinging egg everywhere, though."

"Maybe they won't tease her for her lack of power now," Liara suggested.

"Not once she fully harnesses that precision," Shepard predicted. The N7 operative and Spectre could stop a heart in a chest with a tightly focused biotic surge, or explode every internal organ with a barrage of pulsations. Liara had watched her defuse a bomb thirty feet away, manipulating the biotic field around it with minute motions of her fingers, then hold another field around a second bomb they'd been too late to defuse, containing the explosion within a twenty-foot sphere.

"With you teaching her, I have no doubt she will," Liara replied. Her biotic gifts were just one more reason why Shepard would be an ideal father for an asari child … more than one child, if her genetic contribution were to be maximized. But it couldn't be Liara. "Beth, about the baby -"

"Sorry I'm late." Lisbeth looked up as the shadow fell over them, so she missed Liara fumbling and nearly dropping her chopsticks as she recognized the voice.

"Feron!" Beth smiled in welcome as the drell seated himself beside Liara. "I didn't know you were coming, or we'd have gotten your food with ours."

He chuckled, completely at ease. "I figured she'd have forgotten that she asked me to come by now. Once she's in her office working, she forgets everything else." The look that he gave the asari was one of affectionate exasperation, but Liara felt ill. She hadn't told him that she was planning on meeting Beth for lunch, but he had still known. Had he tapped her communications, or was he following her … or both? How could she have missed either one? "She wanted us to talk to you together about the baby."

"Oh?" Beth's eyes focused on them expectantly. "You two had a chance to talk about it?"

Not since her earliest days as an information broker had Liara been caught out so fully. They hadn't spoken of the matter at all after going to the bedroom, and she had no idea what would be the right thing to say, and what would result in even more punishment than she was already going to receive. "We -" She faltered, but Feron stepped in smoothly.

"We think it's a wonderful idea," he said warmly, draping an arm around Liara's shoulders for what looked like an affectionate squeeze, the tip of one finger pressing lightly on a nerve point in warning. He wasn't drunk … and that realization frightened Liara more than anything else. She'd always been able to tell herself that his behavior was due to the alcohol, that if she could just get him to stop drinking ...

"You do?" The surprise and relief in Lisbeth's voice, in her face, were so pronounced that Liara was briefly distracted from her fear by the realization of just how much her best friend wanted this. "You're sure?"

"Of course." Feron's voice was strong, confident, caring. It was a voice that Liara never heard these days. "With Liara's intelligence and your talents, your child will be exceptional."

"She'd be yours, too," Shepard replied earnestly. "I want to be involved in her life, want her to know me and who I am, but you'd be her father as much as I would be."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," the drell agreed. "She'll be raised alongside our daughters."

"You've decided to have kids, then?" Beth's surprise was no less than Liara's, but judging from her response, the Commander did not share the asari's gut-clenching fear at the idea of giving Feron helpless targets for his rage. Shepard didn't know what he was like now. No one did. No one except -

"Lia?" She looked up to find Lisbeth watching her curiously. "You haven't said much. Are you sure about this? You're the one who's going to be doing the real work." There was a hint of concern in her eyes, and Liara felt a swell of panic. Shepard could never know. Part of it was an instinctive reflex to protect Feron, but it was mostly shame at the idea of Beth finding out how low Liara had sunk, the things she had done and allowed to be done to her. She couldn't bear the thought of the disgust that she would surely see in Beth's eyes if she knew the things that Feron knew.

"It's a bit overwhelming," she managed, trying to salvage the situation, suppressing a wince as Feron's finger bit painfully into the pressure point with a subtle flex. "But I agree with Feron: it's a wonderful idea." She was drawing upon every tool of deception that she had learned as an information broker, trying to be convincing, and it must have worked, because the concern on Beth's face smoothed away.

"All right, then," Shepard said. "When did we want to do it?"

"Why not tonight?" Feron suggested before Liara could speak.

"That soon?" Lisbeth looked startled, brown eyes turning again to Liara in query.

"Why not?" The pressure on the nerves beneath Feron's finger had become steady, sending relentless waves of pain radiating out from the spot. "Since we're all in agreement, there's no reason to put it off, is there?" The pressure lifted, the pain vanished. The relief was almost dizzying.

"Well … I guess not." Beth gave her a quizzical smile. "I'm not sure how these things are supposed to work, though. Did you two want to come over to my place? I could make dinner."

Feron surprised her yet again by saying, "Just Liara, I think. Having someone else there might disrupt the meld, and I trust you not to try to steal my girl."

They both laughed. Liara laughed with them, but inside, she was sick with dread and confusion. What sort of game was Feron playing? What did he want from her? Was he simply setting her up to give him a reason to punish her? The thought of defying him never crossed her mind; those impulses had been ruthlessly smothered months ago beneath the twin weights of fear and guilt. Submission and obedience were the only options left to her.

She was trapped.

* * *

 _A.N. - Did anyone else find it odd that everybody & their dog in ME3 knew that Liara was the Shadow Broker?_


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note – As I mentioned to one reader, I have nothing against Feron in the games, so I feel kinda bad for making him such a bastard in this story, but I needed a bastard, and his personality in the games is pretty vague, so …_

 _As always, thanks to those who read/faved/followed, with special thanks to those who took the time to share their thoughts in reviews: devildoc35, Elena34, GriffinResult, KalenCaelli & Ani._

* * *

Liara had never discovered what exactly had happened to her father when Cerberus had made its abortive assault upon the Citadel. The outspoken matriarch had simply been gone after the dust settled. Liara had worried about Aethyta, but subsequent events had moved too swiftly to allow her much time for investigation. It was not until after the Reapers had been defeated that she discovered that her father had traveled to Earth and joined the fight on the ground, coordinating the efforts of several units of commandos.

Evidently, her activities had mended at least some of the breaches between Aethyta and the more tradition-minded matriarchs, because it had been Aethyta who had approached Liara with their proposal for Shepard. Liara wasn't particularly surprised to find her waiting when she returned to her flat after lunch.

"Well?" She leaned against the wall beside the door, watching Liara expectantly.

"She agreed," Liara told her, keying in the security code and stepping inside, knowing that there was no need to invite Aethyta.

"She have a baby mama in mind, or do we need to give her some choices?" The matriarch sauntered in behind her, glancing around casually.

Liara bit her lip. "I volunteered."

Aethyta nodded, looking unsurprised. "She know why you're doing this?"

Liara looked at her father sharply. "That's none of your concern."

The matriarch's expression hardened. "The hell it's not. You're my daughter, and if you're going to be carrying my granddaughter, it's definitely my concern." She leaned forward, violet eyes intense. "Does she know?" she asked again.

Liara glared at her. "I am doing this because Beth is my best friend!" she declared defiantly.

"Uh-huh." One brow arched skeptically. "And I'm a hanar porn star."

"For all I know, you might be," Liara shot back in exasperation. Growing up, she'd imagined what her father might be like dozens of times. Aethyta fit none of the images she had conjured, but while she often could not fathom what a dignified and respected diplomat like Benezia had seen in the outspoken, frequently uncouth bartender, other times she understood with perfect clarity what had drawn them together.

Now was not one of those times, however.

Aethyta cocked her head and shrugged. "I might be," she agreed. "I haven't checked lately. But even if I am, that's not all I am … and friendship isn't the only reason you're agreeing to have Shepard's baby."

Liara felt her shoulders sag in defeat. "Don't say anything to Lisbeth," she said, trying to make the words come out as a command, rather than the plea they felt like. "Not a word."

"I'm not that much of a bitch," her father replied, "but if I find out that she knows and she's using you ..." She trailed off, the promise of violence swirling in the amethyst depths of her eyes.

"She doesn't, and she's not," Liara said quickly. "Beth's not like that. You know her."

The building storm dissipated. "Yeah, I didn't figure she was. How about the drell?"

Liara felt her heart lurch unpleasantly in her chest. The question had been almost too casual. She turned and went into the kitchen, buying time to control her expression. "What about him?" she asked, trying to discern the hidden currents. Aethyta had never seemed to like Feron; she had never said so openly, but she never used his name, rarely even acknowledged his presence.

Aethyta snorted at the question. "How does he feel about his girlfriend having someone else's baby? Or have you told him?" Her voice faded briefly, as though she were walking away from the kitchen, then grew louder; seconds later, she wandered through the kitchen door, leaning on a countertop as she waited for an answer.

"Of course I've told him! Feron is my bondmate. I wouldn't even contemplate doing such a thing without telling him! He thinks it's a wonderful idea." And she still had no idea why. Feron had left the park soon after Liara had agreed to go to Shepard's flat that night, a final press of his fingers providing a lance of pain as a warning against changing those plans once he was gone.

"Uh-huh." It was amazing how much meaning her father could pack into those two syllables. "And does he know about -"

"Please." She didn't bother to try to sound commanding. "I don't want to talk about this any more. It has no bearing at all on the situation." She would have offered to do this for Beth even if her feelings were ... not what they were. She was certain of that.

Aethyta regarded her closely for a long moment, then nodded slowly. "All right, but you'd better work on your lying if you plan on pulling this off for nine months. If the drell's your bondmate, I'm a respectable matriarch … and we both know _that_ ain't true."

"He loves me," Liara managed, knowing better than to try to assert the converse.

"And you feel responsible for what happened to him," Aethyta finished for her. "I get that. Don't agree, but I get it. But that only goes so far. You can't build any kind of life on it."

"You being the expert on lasting relationships?" Liara poured all of her limited talent for sarcasm into the question, but her father only shrugged.

"Maybe not," she admitted, her eyes growing distant. "A century ain't much between two asari, I guess, but I do know something about living with regrets after you let the right one slip away. You both deserve better than that." She shrugged again, pushed away from the counter. "Take that for what it's worth. I'm just a thousand year old bartender." She paused in the doorway, her eyes meeting Liara's. "But I'm also your father, and I'll rip the spine out of anyone who hurts you."

And she was gone, her promise lingering in the air behind her.

* * *

"Hey." Lisbeth smiled as she opened the door. "How many times do I tell you that you don't have to knock?"

"I always forget," Liara replied with a self-deprecating shrug. Not true. The omission was a deliberate one on her part; if she always knocked, Shepard would do the same. There were too many things that Liara didn't want Beth walking in on. She lifted her head, sniffing the air appreciatively. "It smells wonderful."

"I kept it simple," Beth replied with the easy smile that Liara loved. "Shrimp scampi, grilled asparagus, parmesan-garlic polenta, chocolate mousse and berries for dessert." She chuckled, looking suddenly a bit sheepish. "Never done a 'get-your-best-friend-pregnant' dinner before. I tried looking it up on the internet … didn't find much."

"There aren't any formal rituals," Liara replied, touched that Beth had made the attempt, but far from surprised. "As I said before, when bondmates are involved, sexual contact normal to the paternal species is frequently engaged in, but it is not a necessary component of the meld."

"Just as well," Beth observed wryly. "I don't think Feron's generosity would extend that far. I don't know that any other guy would have agreed, friendship or not. He's pretty special."

"Yes." He was special; the problem had to be Liara, didn't it? She hadn't been able to save him in time before, couldn't push back the demons that beset him now. Couldn't even love him the way he wanted her to … needed her to.

"You've got that look again." Beth was watching her, faint lines of concern touching her features. "Lia, there's no rush on this. If you want to wait, think about it some more -"

"No," Liara replied quickly, fighting down a swell of panic at what Feron might do if his plans were thwarted. Or was that what he actually wanted? His thoughts had grown so convoluted, at times it seemed as though he actively sought reason to be angry with her. No, it had to be her; she was the only one that he was like that with. Everyone else thought him intelligent, brave, kind. Thought they were perfect together. Except Aethyta, but even she didn't know the whole of it. "It's just a bit of nerves, that's all. I still worry that I won't be a good mother."

"Don't." There was not a trace of doubt in Lisbeth's face or voice as she slipped an arm around Liara's shoulders and guided her toward the kitchen. "You're going to be a fantastic mother, and the kid's going to have aunts and uncles from every race in the galaxy. She can have play dates with Wrex's brood."

Despite herself, the thought drew a laugh from Liara. As a desirable specimen, Wrex had bred with numerous krogan females after the genophage had been cured, but Urdnot Bakara was his mate and co-ruler, and it was their three children (with more on the way) that he doted on the most. The idea of their child playing with them was appealing, but would Feron allow it? "Let's eat," she told Shepard.

Lisbeth was a talented cook, and the meal was undoubtedly delicious, but Liara tasted none of it, forcing herself to engage in small talk, listening as Shepard gave updates on their old crewmates: Kasumi had refused a recruitment offer from C-Sec, was currently working as a private security consultant and making almost as much money telling firms how to keep people from stealing from them as she had when she'd been the one doing the stealing; Ashley and James' wedding would be in three months; Garrus and Tali would be departing for Rannoch as soon as the mass relay path was complete; the team led by Miranda and Traynor had almost completed the repairs to EDI's systems, replacing the reaper components that had been destroyed when the Crucible had fired. Her personality seemed intact, and she had recognized Joker when she had been activated for the first time.

"That's wonderful news, Beth," she told her friend. Of all the companions they had lost during the years of this fight, EDI had been the one that Shepard had felt the most deeply. Her choice to destroy the reapers, rather than chance a control that might not last or force a synthesis of synthetic and organic life upon the entire galaxy, had also damaged anything that utilized reaper technology. The geth as a species had been obliterated, and EDI had been rendered inoperable, inert. Reviving an entire race was too formidable a task in a galaxy thrown into complete disarray, but the crew of the Normandy, past and present, had rallied to the care of one of their own.

"Everyone's always asking me about you," Lisbeth replied, watching her over the rim of her mug of espresso. "You really need to get out of that office more."

"I know," Liara admitted. She'd never been good at socializing, and now there was the added worry that a wrong word might give things away. "There's just so much to do, so many who need help."

"But you have to take care of yourself, too," Beth told her earnestly, reaching across the table to take her hand, adding with a smug grin, "and this baby will be the excuse I need to drag you out of there more often."

"That would be nice," Liara made herself say, trying to still Feron's mocking voice in the deep vaults of her mind:

 _It's the baby she cares about. You're no more to her than the tank that Okeer used to grow that krogan._

"Shall we begin?" she asked. As much as she dreaded the challenge of this meld, she needed to feel Beth's mind, the truth of her caring, to still that hurtful voice.

"Now? Sure!" Beth stood, then hesitated. "Do you need to prepare or practice or anything?"

Liara shook her head. "The process is controlled by the autonomic nervous system. Once the meld has occurred, my body will know what to do."

"That's amazing," Shepard remarked with another of those smiles that made Liara's heart ache. "All right, then, where did you want to do this?"

"Someplace comfortable where we can face each other, close enough to touch." Physical contact was not absolutely necessary, but it did help in establishing and maintaining the bond.

"In front of the fireplace, then?" At Liara's nod of assent, Beth retrieved two of the oversized, brightly colored pillows that were scattered throughout the living room and placed them side-by-side before the hearth. After adjusting the flames so that the heat was not quite so intense, she settled cross-legged on one of the pillows and patted the other invitingly.

Liara sat, wishing that the baby could inherit some of Shepard's phenotypical traits: the warm caramel tone of her skin, gleaming gently in the fire's light; the sable hair that tumbled over Beth's shoulders in silken waves that Liara itched to run her fingers through; the brown eyes that always watched her so warmly. She and Traynor could have passed for sisters, though the tall and strongly built commander towered over the petite communications specialist.

"This meld will be deeper than any of the others we have done," she told Lisbeth, beginning to summon the mental barriers that were not a normal part of a mating meld. "If anything causes you discomfort, just tell me." She held up her hands, palms out.

"I will," Shepard replied, plainly confident that she would feel no discomfort as she lifted her own hands and pressed them to Liara's, palm to palm, the warmth of skin on skin sending a tiny shiver along Liara's spine.

She pushed it away, focused on matching her breathing to Shepard's, slow and steady, holding her gaze, feeling the familiar pressure in her mind, the pulse of Lisbeth's heart, the low thrum of blood in her veins, the dance of impulses along her nerves. "Embrace eternity," she murmured, opening her mind and reaching out.

So easy. Beth met her halfway, flowing into her effortlessly, gently. One moment, they were two; the next, they were simply _they_. It had been this way almost from the start, so different from Feron, the only other she had melded with. He insisted that she meld with him in bed, but he thrust into her mind with the same rough urgency that he used on her body, needing to feel her total submission, even as her revulsion hurt and angered him.

Beth's presence was a soothing balm, going readily wherever she was given access, never pushing against the barriers she encountered, never even trying to create any barriers of her own. Her mind was completely open to Liara; the asari could feel the affection, warm and strong and real, but try as she might, she could discern no trace of romantic impulse or physical desire in it. Tucking that foolish hope securely behind her mental barriers, she resolved to simply enjoy what she had, basking in the safety and strength of Lisbeth's presence as the meld deepened with an ease that she had never come close to with Feron.

Now. Instinct took over, guiding her even deeper, attuning her nervous system to Shepard's, the lines blurring until every breath, every heartbeat, every thought and emotion was them, nothing in between, and it was all she could do to remember to keep her barriers up as she began to explore the genetic patterns that made Lisbeth Eleanor Shepard who she was. Courage, kindness and honor could only be taught, but the intelligence and emotional disposition that allowed these traits could be inherited. Biotic aptitude, agility, physical prowess … she explored, mapped, patterned, replicated, aware of Beth looking on in wonder.

It was done, the sudden spark within her womb the signal of her success, and as loathe as she was to allow this time to end, the strain of holding part of her mind closed during a mating meld was pushing her limits, and it was only a matter of time before the walls crumbled. Ending a meld so deeply entered was no easy task, however, and she was trembling with exhaustion by the time it was accomplished and she felt Beth's awareness separate fully from her own.

She opened her eyes to find Shepard staring at her in awe. "That was amazing," Beth breathed. "Did it – did it work? I mean, do you know right away, or -"

"Yes," she managed. "It worked." The weariness was bad enough, but the loss of that intimate connection, the lack of Beth's presence in her mind was almost painful now, and the knowledge that she might never experience a meld of such wondrous depth again - "I should get home," she said, trying to get to her feet, but her legs wavered, the world tilting wildly on its axis.

"Whoa, there." Beth caught her before she could fall, strong arms bearing her up easily and guiding her toward the sofa. "You should rest up for a bit. I'll call Feron, let him know."

Liara knew that she should protest, but Beth was holding her, and she felt safe and so very tired. Surely it would be all right if she closed her eyes and rested for a few minutes? Just a few minutes, she promised herself as she let her eyes slip closed.

* * *

When Liara woke, her first thought was that she felt rested...far more so than she had been in many weeks. When she opened her eyes, she soon realized why. Lisbeth was sitting on the floor beside the couch, her outstretched left arm serving as a pillow for Liara's head. The commander was leaning against the arm of the couch, her eyes closed, her breathing slow and even. It was rare to see her in such repose, and Liara drank the sight in for several moments until awareness pierced the bubble of contentment.

Goddess, how long had she been asleep? The darkness outside the windows suggested that night was well advanced.

Alarmed, she sat up with a gasp, startling Beth into wakefulness. "What's wrong?" Shepard asked, sitting up and glancing around watchfully.

"I just...shouldn't have been out so late," Liara managed, standing and looking around for the clock, cringing inwardly when she read the time. "Feron will be worried."

"It's fine," Beth assured her. "I called him, told him you were resting and I'd get you home when you woke up." She winced, rubbing her left arm and shaking it. "Went to sleep," she explained sheepishly, opening and closing the fingers.

"I don't wonder, if you had me laying on it for four hours," Liara scolded her, though she couldn't help a flush of warmth at the notion, and a wistful wish to have been awake for more of that time.

"I was worried about you," Lisbeth replied. "I've never seen you hit that hard by a meld before. I almost called Dr. Chakwas to come over and check you."

"Mating melds are draining," Liara told her, knowing that information confirming this could be easily turned up in extranet research without betraying the fact that she'd had to hide more than she ever had before. "I'm fine now. Thank you." She needed to get home; she was afraid to go home, but the longer she delayed, the worse it would be. "I really should get going."

"Wait." Shepard's hand touched her shoulder, the gentle pressure stopping her in mid-stride as effectively as an iron grip. She turned, found brown eyes regarding her with worry and a hint of sadness. "Whatever it is that you're afraid to tell me...you don't have to be," she said softly.

Liara stared at her in shock. "I didn't – I'm not -" She faltered, unable to lie so blatantly when Beth was looking at her like that. "How did you -"

Lisbeth shrugged. "I felt it … not sure how to describe it. It felt like a wall that I kept bumping into. I've felt it before when we melded, but it was no big deal. Everyone has secrets, I guess, but this time -" She looked straight into Liara's eyes, her expression serious. "You're scared. I could feel it. Scared of me finding out whatever it is."

The hurt in Beth's face, her voice, nearly shattered Liara. Even more distressing was the realization that she'd been able to discern that much during the meld. It was a level of sensitivity that was usually only found between bondmates. Certainly Feron had never demonstrated anything even close to it.

Before she could speak, Beth went on. "You don't have to tell me, but you don't have to be afraid. You're my best friend, and nothing is going to change that."

The words were meant to be reassuring, but they were like salt in a raw wound. Beth was her friend, and that is how it would stay. Never lovers, never bondmates, and after being given a hint of just how profound such a union between them might be, the realization was almost unbearably painful.

"I know that, Beth," she made herself say. "And I'll tell you, just not tonight. Please?" Not until after she had figured out how to end things with Feron, because she knew now that she had to. Not just because of the baby's safety, though goddess knew that was reason enough. She couldn't continue in a pallid mimicry of a relationship, now that she knew what a real bonding could be like. Better to be alone than to try to settle for something that would always be less. It wasn't fair to Feron or to herself. She just had to convince Feron of that.

Beth nodded, but looked no less troubled. "Are you in danger?" she pressed. "Something you found out as the Shadow Broker?"

"No." Liara shook her head. "Nothing like that. It's – it's silly, really." She forced a laugh, but Beth regarded her solemnly.

"It's not silly if it's got you afraid to talk to me," she declared. "Promise me you'll tell me soon? I'm just going to keep worrying otherwise."

"I promise," Liara told her, praying that she would be able to keep that promise, because she knew that Beth would not forget or let it go.

It seemed to be enough for now, however. Beth kissed her cheek, hugged her. "All right. I love you, Lia."

"I love you, too, Beth." She knew that the words didn't mean what she so wanted them to, but she let herself slide back into the illusion, hugging Beth back and hanging on for a few moments, telling herself that Shepard's steadfast friendship would be enough. That it had to be enough.

"You want me to call you a skycab?" Beth offered, ever gallant.

"I can do that," Liara assured her as she stepped out the door, inputting the request on her omni-tool. She would have preferred to walk, to have time to compose herself, plan what to say, but she knew that Shepard would insist on accompanying her at this time of night.

Once inside the cab, she drew deep breaths, centering herself, trying to decide on the best course of action. Trying to tell him tonight would likely go badly. Better to simply ride out his anger, then speak to him in the morning, before he started drinking, when he was almost always more rational. They could go to breakfast somewhere; he'd never lashed out at her in public. He could have the flat; she'd find somewhere else to live, ask Garrus and Tali to help her get her things out. And then she could tell Shepard. Not all of it; she didn't want Beth hunting Feron down. She'd just say that things hadn't worked out, that the relationship had been in its last stages even before the decision was made about the baby.

But even as she made her plans, a mocking voice in the back of her mind told her that she was a fool if she thought that Feron would let her go so easily, would let her walk away and live, and when she opened the door of the flat and saw his face, she knew that the voice had been right.

* * *

 _A.N. - While this is a work of fiction, there are too many for whom domestic violence is a hellish fact._

 _If you are among that number, know this:_

 _You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think._

 _You. Deserve. Better._

 _Don't buy the crap they tell you to keep you down._

 _Get out._

 _1-800-799-SAFE (7233) – National Domestic Violence Hotline – 24/7/365_


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: Another week, another update. Thanks as always to those who have read/faved/followed, with special thanks to those who left reviews: GriffinResult, devildoc35, Elena34, Ehpoca, lauxan, KalenCaelli & Grace Kay. Y'all rock!_

 _Trigger warnings for abuse. This is a grim one. It gets better after this, I promise._

* * *

 _ **Meanwhile, back at Shepard's place...**_

"Aethyta? What's going on? What time is -"

"Nobody messes with my girl!"

"What? What the hell are you -"

"Did you mean that, Shepard?"

"Of course I did! Liara's my best friend! Is something wrong? Is she in trouble? Damn it, I knew -"

"You don't know shit, puppy. Just shut up and listen to this."

"What is it? Wait – you bugged her flat? Aethyta, she's going to -"

"If you don't shut the fuck up and listen, I'll break your damn neck and handle it myself!"

"Handle what? What the hell is … Son of a – ohmygod … god _damn_ it! Is this happening now? Come on, we've got to get over there!"

"Not 'we'. Just you, Shepard. And don't kill him."

"That's asking a lot, Aethyta."

"That's why you're going and not me. I know my daughter, and seeing him get turned into a puddle of drell jelly is just gonna tear her up more than she already is. Just get her away from the fucker, Shepard. That's all that matters."

"I will!"

* * *

"Feron, nothing happened!" Liara had lost track of the number of times she'd said those words in the last hour, but neither the repetition nor the truth of them had any lasting effect. As quickly as the drell's rage began to cool, it would flare again.

"But you _wanted_ it to!" Feron paced in front of her, his agitation rising anew. "You want her! Don't try to deny it!"

"She's my best friend, Feron," Liara replied, trying to keep the fear from her voice. He was working himself back up into a fury; any second now, he would lash out at her physically, then crumble into remorse; that was the normal progression of things, but tonight it had turned into a cycle, repeating itself – was it four times or five now? And instead of dissipating, his anger seemed to be growing with each renewal. "That's all there ever has been between us and all there ever will be!" She had to convince him of that. "You wanted me to do this! You said -"

"You weren't supposed to _do_ it!" he roared at her, snatching a piece of prothean sculpture from a table and hurling it at the wall where it shattered, fragments of stone stinging her face and neck. "I had to know, had to be sure, and you couldn't wait to whore yourself out to her!"

His agreement had indeed been the trap she had feared, and now there was no way out. "Feron, we didn't have sex! It was just a mind meld."

He stopped his pacing to glare at her. " _Just_ a mind meld?" he demanded with scathing sarcasm. "That's more than you've given me in the last six months!"

"That's not true!" she protested. "I join our minds every time we -" She couldn't finish, couldn't bring herself to call what took place between them making love.

He stepped in close, the darkness of his eyes hot with resentment. "You think I can't tell the difference?" he asked, his voice low, deadly. "You think I'm that stupid?"

"I don't think you are -" Her words were cut off by a slap that rocked her head on her shoulders, and a second later, she tasted a metallic tang on her lips. It was the first time he'd drawn blood, but even as she stared at him in shock, all she could really feel was the desperate hope that maybe this would be enough to spend his anger, that it could be over now. Thoughts of leaving had evaporated like drops of water under the merciless glare of the Tuchanka sun. He would never let her go.

"See what you made me do?" he asked her accusingly. "Why do you provoke me like this?" He stepped in even closer, his hands coming up to frame her face, and she forced herself to be still, not flinch away from his touch. "I love you, Liara," he said softly, sadly. "I can't lose you." Before she could speak, assure him that he wouldn't lose her, his hands settled around her neck, tightening into a relentless vise. "I won't let her have you."

 _Feron, please!_ She couldn't speak, couldn't breathe as he squeezed, ignoring her hands as they struck out with growing desperation as the oxygen in her blood was depleted by her racing heart. Black spots danced in her vision, growing larger and more numerous.

 _Oh, Beth, I'm sorry._

"Lia!"

The hands left her throat and she collapsed to her knees, gasping for breath, her pulse thundering in her ears not quite loud enough to drown out the sounds of breaking wood and shattering glass.

She lifted her head, still sucking in gulp after gulp of precious air. Feron hung suspended against the far wall, pictures and art scattered on the floor. Before him stood Lisbeth, the biotic field holding the drell captive flowing from a single upraised hand. Dark energy swirled around the Spectre, pulsing with power; her face was a mask of white-hot fury, and the brown of her irises had been swallowed by the dilation of her pupils.

"You son of a bitch," she snarled, a slight gesture from her hand causing Feron's eyes to bulge, his open mouth working wordlessly as he struggled to breathe. "How does it feel, fucker? How … does … it … feel?" Her fingers curled slowly into a fist, and the last of Feron's air left him in a wheezing squeal.

"Beth, don't!" Liara struggled to stand, the words coming out in a ragged croak from her abused throat.

"I agreed not to kill him, Liara," Shepard replied in a tightly controlled voice without looking around. "I never said he wouldn't hurt." She cocked her head, her expression becoming intent, the dark energy pulsing faster, stronger, and Feron screamed, a high-pitched wail of agony.

"Beth, please!" She stumbled forward, putting both hands on Lisbeth's upraised arm, looking up beseechingly into a face she barely recognized. She had never seen Shepard so angry. Javik had called her this cycle's avatar of victory, but right now, she looked like nothing less than the personification of wrath. "Please, don't!"

The dark eyes shifted briefly to her, the implacable expression softening. Abruptly, she lowered her arm, and Feron fell heavily to the floor, gasping, but when he lifted his head, his eyes burned with hate.

"You think that's the worst I've felt?" he spat. "I spent two years in hell because of you! You owe me -" Another biotic wave slammed him into the wall, sending another picture frame crashing to the floor.

"What the hell's going on in here -"

"Spectre business," Shepard replied without bothering to look at the landlord peering nervously through the doorway. "Move along."

"Ah … yes. Of course, Commander," the man replied, bobbing and backing away.

Spectre business. That simple invocation meant that Beth could kill Feron, tear him apart, and face no consequences, no questions.

"Beth, don't do this!" she begged. "Not for me … please!" It was her fault he was like this it would be her fault if Shepard killed him. She couldn't bear that.

Beth gave no indication that she had heard. "You haven't even begun to see what I am capable of," she promised Feron, pushing the asari behind her as she moved to where the drell lay and hauled him roughly to his feet. "Get out right now, and if I ever see you near her again, I swear you'll wish you'd never left that chair we found you in."

She shoved him hard toward the door. He tripped over the coffee table, went sprawling, dragged himself back to his feet.

"Not another word," Beth warned him as his gaze fell on Liara. She lifted a hand, dark energy swirling at her fingertips. "Leave. Now. And don't come back."

Hate and fear fought briefly for possession of Feron's face before fear won. He shot Liara a final, resentful glare, and she felt her heart wilt at the thought of what he might say, but then he turned and staggered out of the flat without speaking, slamming the door in his wake.

Shepard stayed where she was, facing the door, head down, breathing hard and fists clenched, dark energy still eddying around her in menacing waves.

"Beth?" Liara whispered fearfully. She had never seen Shepard in such a rage before.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Shepard asked in a low voice without turning around.

Liara stared at her helplessly. "I … I couldn't," she managed, unable to articulate just how impossible the prospect had been. Fear for herself, fear for Feron, fear _of_ Feron, shame: all of these twisting together into bonds as powerful as any shackles ever made.

"You _couldn't?_ " The look of baffled anger that Beth shot her cut to the quick. "Christ, Lia, he was killing you! Why the hell didn't you slap a singularity on him and smear him across the wall?"

"It wasn't like that, Beth!" she protested. "It wasn't that bad -"

"Not that bad?" Shepard was getting angrier, and Liara felt her heart start to hammer. Beth lifted her head abruptly. "She's safe and he's gone," she said loudly. "Now turn off your damn receiver."

Confusion quickly gave way to comprehension, then humiliation. "My father?" she asked, remembering Aethyta's visit, the time she'd spent out of Liara's sight. She should have known, suspected.

Lisbeth nodded. "She bugged your flat, and it's a damn good thing she did. You'd be dead otherwise."

"No." Liara shook her head. "He wouldn't have killed me, he was just upset -"

" _Bullshit!_ " Beth shouted, taking a step forward, her face suffusing with rage. "His hands were on your _throat_ , Liara! You were blacking out and you just let him keep choking you! What in the hell -"

"Beth, please!" Liara shrank back from her friend's anger. "It was my fault, I made him angry. I always make him angry, and I just … I thought that would end it." She slid down the wall, curling into a miserable ball, feeling hot tears rolling down her face, knowing that she was disappointing Beth, just as she always disappointed Feron. She buried her face against her knees, remembering how the promise of oblivion had felt like release. She'd been so close to never feeling again. Never hurting again. "I'm sorry, Beth. I just wanted it to be over."

Long moments of silence, then a hoarse whisper: "Dear God, what has he done to you?" Liara tensed as she heard Beth joining her on the floor, but Shepard didn't touch her. "Lia? Look at me. Please?"

The words were gentle, careful, and after a moment, Liara summoned the courage to lift her head and meet Shepard's sorrowful gaze.

"I'm sorry," Beth murmured. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I shouldn't have yelled at you, but that scared the hell out of me, seeing you like that, thinking I wasn't going to get to you in time. I don't – I don't know what he did to you -" She faltered, emotions rippling across her face, got them under control when Liara cringed. "He won't do it again, Lia. He's never going to hurt you again, and I'm not going to hurt you, either. Do you believe me?"

"Yes." The rational part of her mind was trying to assert itself, reminding her that Lisbeth had never hurt her … but that had been true of Feron once, hadn't it?

"Come here?" Beth held her arms out, but didn't move, leaving the choice to Liara. The asari hesitated, then crawled across the short distance between them. Beth hugged her close, and the gentle strength of the embrace shattered the fragile dam holding her emotions in check. She began to cry, clinging desperately to her best friend.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She couldn't seem to say anything else, the words choked out between ragged sobs.

"It's all right," Beth whispered, rocking back and forth with her. "It's all right, Lia. He's never going to hurt you again, I swear. You're safe." A gentle kiss pressed to her forehead. "You're safe."

Safe. Liara wasn't sure any more what the word meant, but maybe it was simply the way Beth's arms around her made her feel. She snuggled closer, holding on as her tears slowly tapered off into sniffles.

"Will you let me take you out of here?" Lisbeth asked softly after a time.

"Yes." Liara looked up at her questioningly. "Where – where will I go?"

"You can stay with me," Shepard assured her. "I've got plenty of room. You can stay as long as you want."

"All – all right." The storm of emotions had passed, leaving her feeling numb, wrung out, exhausted. Thinking, choosing was beyond her, and she was more than willing to allow Beth to decide for her.

Beth helped her to her feet, followed her into the bedroom, watched as she retrieved a suitcase from the closet, laid it on the bed and began filling it with clothes. "Can I help?" she offered quietly.

"Yes," Liara replied, trying to decide what to take. The dress she had worn to the casino, but not the one that Feron had declared his favorite. The simple clothes that she wore to work in, and she'd need underwear, of course ... Too late, she realized that Shepard was headed for the dresser. "No, not that … one," her voice trailed off as Beth opened the top drawer.

Silence, heavy and dark as Beth stared into the drawer. Liara knew what she was seeing; it was where Feron kept his 'toys'.

"Tell me he didn't force you," Shepard said at last, her voice choked with emotion.

"I never told him no," Liara replied, feeling humiliation heating her cheeks, knowing not to add that saying 'no' had never been an option.

"That's not what I asked." A razor thin edge of anger was back in Shepard's voice, triggering a reflexive surge of fear in Liara.

"It didn't hurt," she said desperately, trying to head off the explosion. "Not most of the time, anyway, and Feron needed -"

The sharp crack of wood breaking under Lisbeth's grip silenced her, terror hammering a tattoo against her sternum, but when Beth turned around, her expression was gentle, her eyes anguished.

"All right," she said softly. "All right. Let's just … get you out of here."

* * *

 _A.N. - Seeing someone you care about caught in an abusive relationship is one of the most helpless and frustrating feelings imaginable. You want to shake them, make them see … but you can't, because they've already been broken, and that will only make it worse.  
_

 _They don't need your anger._

 _They don't (except in a few cases) need you to kick the ass of their abuser._

 _They don't need your logical arguments, because logic has nothing to do with where they're at._

 _They need your strength while they find their own._

 _They need your support and patience while they explore the idea of a world that they have forgotten … or maybe never knew._

 _Most of all, they need your love._

 _Because until they realize that staying is a choice, they will never understand that leaving is a choice, as well. One within their power to make._

 _But some never do._


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note – There will now be a run of (relatively) Feron-free chapters and crew cameos for your reading pleasure._

 _Thanks as always to those who read/fave/follow, with special shout-outs to my ever-awesome reviewers: Elena34, Aeowyn99, CainVulsore, Ehpoca, devildoc35, GriffinResult, JestaAOK11, Rayne Ariana Maranochi, Highlord & the still-anonymous Guest!_

* * *

 _ **Four months later**_

"Motherhood suits you, Liara," Karin Chakwas observed with a warm smile as she stepped into the flat. "You look positively radiant."

"Thank you, Doctor," Liara replied, accepting an affectionate hug from the physician. "I've been feeling good."

"The morning sickness eased up, then?"

"Yes." The first trimester had been miserable, with 'morning sickness' lasting until almost noon. She'd spent far too much time hunched over a toilet in misery. The only thing that had made it bearable had been Beth's steady presence at her side: wiping her face with a cool cloth, helping her back to bed, feeding her ginger tea and dry toast until the nausea subsided. "Lisbeth will be back soon."

"Well, I don't need her for the physical exam," Karin replied, slipping the scanner from her bag. She had retired from active duty with the Alliance, but there had not been a power in the galaxy that could have kept her from serving as Liara's doctor during her pregnancy, and no one else that Liara would have preferred to have taking care of her and her daughter.

Plus, she made house calls.

Liara lay back on the couch, allowing the scanner to be passed over her: head-to-toe first, followed by a more focused examination of her abdomen, which had only recently began to curve out into what she was gloomily certain would become a sizable bulge.

"She's growing well," Karin reported. "Felt any movement?"

"Not yet," Liara replied. Her link to the tiny life within her remained much as it had on the night of conception: she was aware of its presence, but as yet had not felt the still-developing mind, though all of her research indicated that would be happening soon.

"You will before this month is out," Dr. Chakwas predicted. "She's perfectly healthy, as are you."

"You can thank Shepard for that," Liara said with a laugh as she sat up. "She monitors my exercise, my sleep ... and every pregnant woman should have a personal chef." Beth had dug up everything she could find about asari maternal nutritional needs and applied the knowledge with her usual attention to detail. Her skill and inventiveness in the kitchen also meant that she'd been able to satisfy the asari's more unusual culinary cravings, such as the night that only the asari delicacy of sauteed silkfish would do as a topping for her bacon cheeseburger.

Karin chuckled. "She's always been a mother hen, but she's always had a crew to spread it around on. You're her only target now, but I don't think I've ever seen her happier."

The unspoken question was gentle, well meant. "She is the truest friend that I could ever have wished for," Liara replied, giving the answer that she used to balm her own heart when it persisted. The last few weeks had been the happiest in Liara's century of life, and still she could not seem to keep herself from wanting more.

"Such friends are rare, indeed," the doctor agreed, then lifted her eyes to look past Liara. "Shepard. We were just talking about you."

"About my abysmal punctuality, no doubt," Beth responded as the door closed behind her. "Sorry I'm late. Good to see you, Karin." She hugged the doctor, then settled on the sofa beside Liara. "How are our girls doing?"

 _Our girls._ Being doted on so completely was bliss, in a way, but she'd never fully shaken off Feron's words about Shepard's interest being only for the baby.

"Both doing very well," Chakwas told Shepard. "Fetal growth rate is going to start placing more demands on her from here on out, so make sure she eats enough."

"I can do that," Lisbeth replied readily, giving Liara a fond smile that warmed the asari to her toes. The small talk continued for several minutes, but when Shepard invited the doctor to stay for lunch, Chakwas declined.

"I'm scheduled to see Ashley in half an hour," Karin said, adding before either of them could ask, "and when I told her I'd be here first, she told me I could spill the beans. She and James are expecting."

"Already?" Beth was beaming with delight. It had been barely a month since she'd been matron-of-honor at the nuptials.

Chakwas nodded, looking no less pleased. "I told them that I could determine the baby's gender on this visit, but they both prefer to be surprised."

"That sounds like them," Shepard declared.

"So, are you starting a new career, doctor?" Liara asked.

"Only for a chosen few, my dear," Karin replied with a fond smile. "Seeing you all happy and thriving is the best retirement I could ask for, and being a part of it in this way is the most fun I've had with medicine in years." Green eyes shifted between them thoughtfully, and Liara felt herself starting to blush.

Beth didn't notice. "You don't have to work to be part of the family," she assured Chakwas. "The kids will all know their Aunt Karin."

The doctor laughed as she stood. "This isn't work, Lisbeth. I spent my career trying to save lives and failing more often than I wanted to. Helping to escort new lives into this world is a rejuvenation more potent than the Fountain of Youth. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"She dedicated her life to the Alliance," Beth observed quietly after Chakwas departed. "It's good to see her finding some happiness beyond it."

"Yes," Liara agreed. Karin was a good person, though unnervingly observant. Still, she hadn't pressed the matter, and for that, the asari was grateful.

"So, eat out for lunch, or shall I cook?" Shepard asked, leaving the choice to Liara, as she almost always did. She was always subtle, always casual, but she'd spent much of the past four months trying to help the asari reclaim the autonomy that Feron had taken from her.

"Thai in the park sounds good," Liara replied, and it was true. Early on, her self-confidence had been so thoroughly decimated that every decision she made was based on what she thought Beth's preference would be, what Beth wanted her to do. Shepard never corrected her, never scolded. Gentle and patient, she gave Liara the space to stumble as she re-explored the freedom that she had once taken for granted, but was always, always there when the asari reached out.

The summer day was warm, and the trees in the park were crowned with leaves of rich green, with a verdant carpet of grass underfoot. Children played, lovers held hands as they walked; the healing continued, even as the reminders of war still remained stark in many places, and this park had become an oasis in the midst of those reminders.

Liara and Shepard got their food and walked to the tree that Liara couldn't help thinking of as 'theirs', settling to the grass beneath its shade.

"Sure you want the hot stuff?" Shepard teased her, hefting the two cartons in her hands.

"Absolutely." One of the more interesting changes that pregnancy had made to her palate was her new preference for spicy foods. After years of Shepard trying to coax her into trying one fiery recipe after another, suddenly, she couldn't get enough of the stuff.

Shepard grinned and passed her the red curry shrimp, then opened her fiery basil chicken. "The kid's gonna be drinking sriracha straight from the bottle," she predicted, looking pleased at the notion.

"Have you thought about what we should name her?" Liara asked. It felt surreal at times, discussing such things with her best friend, but if Beth found it odd, she never gave any indication of it.

She paused, chopsticks halfway to her mouth. "A bit," she said. "I figured we still have a few months to discuss it. Did you have a name in mind?"

Liara nodded. "I was just thinking … I wondered if you would like to name her after your mother?"

Shepard's eyes hazed up a bit at this. Hannah Shepard had died during the final battle, her ship destroyed in the desperate fight to keep the Reapers away from the Crucible. Beth's father had been killed during the First Contact War; her mother had raised her alone thereafter, and they had been exceedingly close. "I'd like that," she said softly. "How about your mother, too? Hannah Benezia?"

"I -" Liara faltered, beset by the same conflicting emotions that thoughts of her mother always incited. "Beth, I don't know. What she did -"

"She saved the galaxy, Liara," Shepard replied earnestly. "She fought against Sovereign's mind control and won long enough to get us the data that let us track Saren to Ilos and the Conduit. Without that, this war would have been over then and there. She was no less a hero than my mother, and I'd be proud for our child to have her name."

For a long moment, Liara could only stare at her. In asari society, Benezia's legacy was shrouded in shame. For a matriarch to have lost control of her own mind was seen as a weakness, and Liara's own memories of her mother were touched with a betrayed anger for the many things that Benezia had kept from her. If she had known from the start about the Prothean beacon hidden in the temple of Athame, how much sooner could the Crucible have been completed, how many millions of lives saved? Thessia might not now lay in ruins.

Lisbeth had cut to the heart of the matter with her calm, clear assessment. Benezia had fallen victim to Reaper indoctrination, but she had been far from the only one, and she had been one of the few strong enough to overcome it, even briefly. If she had not managed it, if they had not obtained the location of the Mu relay from her, Saren would have reached the Conduit unopposed, used it to travel to the Citadel and opened the heretofore unknown relay in the enormous station to admit the Reapers from their realms in deep space. There would have been no warning, no knowledge of the Crucible, much less time to build it. The Reapers would have stripped the galaxy clean of all spacegoing civilizations in a matter of decades. No one could have stopped them.

Her vision blurred. "Beth, I am a horrible daughter!"

"No." Beth caught the carton of curry as it tipped from her hands, set it aside with her own and shifted closer, slipping an arm around Liara's shoulders. "No, you're not."

"I am!" she insisted miserably. "I should be fighting to see that my mother's sacrifice is honored by the asari, not cringing away from the mention of her name!"

"We'll fight for it," Beth promised her. "Starting with our daughter."

 _Our daughter._ Liara swallowed and nodded, wiping her eyes and looking up at Shepard. "Hannah Benezia?"

Beth nodded, smiling at her. "I like the sound of it."

Liara nodded. "So do I."

"Aethyta should approve, too," Beth teased her gently.

She laughed, leaning against Beth's shoulder. "Yes, she will," she agreed. Beth's steady presence made even the notion of challenging the decrees of the matriarchs seem less formidable, made everything easier to face -

Her peripheral vision registered him first, and her heart skipped a beat. Her hand hit the cartons of food, tipping them over, but she barely noticed, head turning and wide eyes scanning the perimeter of the park -

"Lia, what's wrong?" Beth regarded her with concern. "What -" Comprehension washed over her features, followed by fury, and she was on her feet in an instant, dark energy beginning to pulse around her hands. "Where?" she snarled, ready to launch herself in any direction.

"I don't – he's gone." He was gone, but she had no doubt that Feron had been there, waiting until she saw him, then ghosting away. There had been no sign of him in the months since he had left their flat; why would he return, make his presence known now? "Beth, no." She caught her friend's hand, tugging at it. "He's well away by now, and he knows how to stay out of sight." He might also be counting on Shepard giving chase, letting him circle back and catch Liara alone. She was no longer the cowed woman she had been, but she had not been tested by his presence … and she didn't want to be. Not yet. Not ever.

The flare of biotics faded, and Beth let herself be drawn back to the grass, but she still scanned the milling crowds balefully for another long moment. "I'm not the one he needs to worry about anyway," she muttered, activating her omni-tool and typing into it. "Your father wants his hide for a suitcase."

"Beth, you don't have to tell her," Liara protested in chagrin. Aethyta's protection was considerably less subtle than Shepard's; it had been a month after she'd left Feron before she had been able to convince her father that she did not require constant surveillance while she was at work.

"She'll know as soon as she sees your face," Beth predicted, "and then she'll have my ass for not telling her." She finished with her message and deactivated the omni-tool. "Besides, if he's busy dodging her, he won't have time to try for another visit." She righted the tipped containers, peered in at the remaining contents. "No ants," she announced, holding Liara's out to her.

"I don't know if I can," she admitted. Her stomach was roiling, her heart still racing. The idea that he could so thoroughly dismantle weeks of progress was nearly as disheartening as his presence had been. She and Beth had spent hours talking; she knew now on an intellectual level the insidious way he had manipulated her, isolated her, played on her sense of guilt and responsibility to bind her to him. She knew that she hadn't deserved his abuse, knew that her biotics made her more than a match for him. Her mind knew it; her gut was not so easily convinced.

"All right." Beth accepted her words, though she plainly wanted to push. It hurt sometimes, how careful she was, as though fearful of committing the same sins that Feron had, when she didn't have a controlling or cruel bone in her body.

"I'll try." Liara took the carton and began picking at the food, willing the churning to subside. Missing a single meal would not hurt the baby, but doing so would give Feron another victory.

"Take your time," Shepard told her, digging back into her own, though her eyes frequently lifted to survey the surrounding area.

"I need to get in to work soon," Liara replied. Bit by bit, she was shutting down the Shadow Broker operation: ending some operations, shifting others under the purview of carefully vetted intelligence agencies. It had required careful work, maintaining the balance, giving no one group a clear advantage.

She was down to less than a dozen key operatives reporting to her, but the matters they handled were vital: stability on Tuchanka, continued searching for holdout Cerberus cells, a handful of other issues that posed a substantial threat to the stability of the still-recovering galactic community. By the time the baby was born, even those operations would be either concluded or handed off. The Shadow Broker would disappear. Perhaps another would rise in time, but that was something that Liara could not concern herself with. Her daughter's safety was her first concern.

It wasn't as though she needed the money. The book that she had written with Javik was a best-seller, and if she grew bored, she had at least a dozen offers to teach at prestigious universities across the galaxy. The idea of spending a few years doing nothing but being a mother, enjoying the peace they had fought for, was appealing … but first, that peace had to be secured.

Beth accepted this with a nod. "Would you like me to walk with you?" she offered.

"That would be nice," Liara replied after a moment of thought. Tempting to walk alone, to defy Feron's attempt at intimidating her, but she would enjoy Beth's company, and that would be another type of defiance. "I -" she broke off, eyes widening.

"What?" Shepard sat up, fully alert again. "Where is he?"

"No." Liara shook her head. "It's not that." Goddess, in her anxiety, she'd almost missed it: the faintest flutter of awareness from a developing mind, sleepy and content, cocooned in warmth and safety, soothed by the thrum of her heart. The delicate tendrils wove their way into her soul: the first strands of an anchor that was one of the strongest bonds an asari could experience. "It's her, Beth. It's Hannah!"

"You can feel her?" Beth's face lit up. "She's all right?"

"She's fine," Liara assured her, seeing the worry start to cloud her friend's face. "He didn't hurt her. He couldn't." The thought of it sent something dangerous and not the least bit cowed or submissive surging along her veins. "It's faint. She's not really conscious yet, not awake, but she will be soon, and my connection with her mind will grow stronger each day." She touched her belly, awe sweeping over her at the feel of this tiny creature growing within her, connected to her as no one had been since she was an infant in her own mother's womb.

Beth hugged her, and she returned the embrace, Feron all but forgotten in their shared joy and wonder. "Still want to go in to work?" Shepard asked as they drew apart.

"No," Liara admitted, "but I want more than ever to be done with that part of my life, which means that I have to go in, at least for a little while longer."

"Sound logic," Beth agreed, "but after I drop you off at the Normandy, I'm going home and cooking a special dinner to celebrate, with something chocolate for dessert."

"And tomatoes?" Liara asked hopefully, the mention of chocolate triggering another of her cravings.

Shepard winced visibly but nodded. "And tomatoes."

* * *

 _A.N. - When I was first writing this, I attempted to do a more day-by-day approach to the followup of the previous chapter, but decided that was more angst than I really wanted to load up. Hopefully the retrospective approach will provide sufficient detail to make things plausible. Bringing someone back from that dark of a place is never an easy process, or a short one, but I think that Liara's recovery was likely to be easier than many because hers was not a lifelong cycle of abuse. The damage that Feron would have done over a year or two was no less real or painful, but the scars would not go so deeply into the psyche, and the 'real' Liara would not have been so deeply buried._

 _As with all of BioWare's games, it is the NPC's that make Mass Effect truly memorable for me. The Citadel DLC ranks as my favorite of all time, and if they could make a DA equivalent, I would be in heaven. The crew appearances that will be taking place over the next few chapters were especially fun for me to write._


	6. Chapter 6

_A.N. - All right, I'm feeling almost ridiculously pleased with myself. Not only did I get this chapter reviewed and edited (admittedly didn't need much) and complete the next chapter of 'Moments In Time', but I also finished up the first chapter of an Adaar/Josephine story that's been nagging at me. That's right, a hat trick in Snafu-land! Not sure when there'll be a repeat, but for now, I'm gonna just bask in the warm glow of accomplishment and treat myself to a weekend of Inquisition and Criminal Minds.  
_

 _Thanks as always to those who read/fave/follow this story, with special thanks to those of you who take the time to review: KalenCaelli, JestaAOK11, Aeowyn99 & RachelBarbraBerry._

* * *

 _ **One Month Later**_

The Shadow Broker was no more.

She'd pushed her timeline ahead more than a bit, spurred by the growing link with Hannah, and that Friday, she had received her final report, placed Glyph under Specialist Traynor's command and turned her state-of-the-art equipment over to the young woman who had become one of the fastest rising stars in Alliance intelligence. Sam would see to it that the equipment and technology were used responsibly.

She'd been bracing herself for pangs of regret, but the feeling of a weight that she had not been aware of lifting from her shoulders instead had been exhilarating. She'd slept more soundly that night than she had in years.

On Saturday, they had gone shopping with Ashley and James: maternity clothes for Ash, baby furniture for Liara and Beth. Shepard's flat had three bedrooms. Liara had been moved into the guest bedroom; even after it had become apparent that Feron would not be returning to the flat they had shared, she had felt no desire to live there again. Beth had never asked, and when Liara had told her that she was letting the lease expire, had helped her move her things in, making room on walls and shelves without hesitation. The bedroom was Liara's now, painted the light teal that she had selected, pictures of Ilos and Prothean ruins on the walls; she'd insisted on paying her share of the rent, once she was no longer paying for the other one.

She'd put Feron's belongings in storage. Beth would have been just as happy to donate everything to charity, or simply burn it, but Liara didn't feel the same need for revenge. She pitied him more than anything else, though there was still a strong dose of fear. There had been no sign of him since that day in the park, no record of him leaving Earth, though he was quite capable of evading standard surveillance. She hoped that he would eventually find peace, but she accepted that she would likely never know.

Beth had moved her weights and exercise equipment out of the third bedroom, which was in the process of being transformed into a nursery. The walls had been painted a pale yellow, with brightly colored cartoon animals gamboling wherever you looked. Furniture was next, and they had narrowed their choices down to a set made of oak, the wood stained for a natural look, and one made from compressed polymer in colors as bright as the animals on the wall.

Liara preferred the wood, but she had not said so yet. Beth was still far too ready to cede to whatever she requested, and Liara was determined to find out what her friend's true preference was. The polymer was practical: easy to clean, durable and colorful. She could live with it, if that was what Beth wanted. Hannah was her child too, after all.

"Hungry?" Beth asked as she entered the living room and sank onto the sofa.

"Not yet." It had only been an hour since breakfast of eggs benedict, fresh melon, milk and juice, but the query was not premature. Hannah's steady growth had triggered an answering surge in her mother's appetite that, along with decreasing room for her stomach to expand, had Shepard making up to six smaller meals in a day. Plus whatever snacks Liara made for herself. It was more than a little embarrassing.

"You don't have to babysit me, you know," she told Shepard.

"It's not babysitting," Beth replied. "I like cooking."

"Still, there's no reason for you to spend the whole weekend waiting hand and foot on me," Liara said.

Beth looked puzzled. "Where else would I be?"

Questions like that made it hard for Liara to breathe. "I could think of several possibilities. When was the last time you had a date?" The goddess knew, it hadn't been since Liara moved in, and the asari was feeling guilty about it, guiltier still that she was enjoying having Shepard to herself.

Shepard frowned, brow furrowed in thought. "Can't remember," she announced at last, seeming unconcerned by the fact. "It was at least six months ago, I guess, and obviously it was less than impressive. Can't even remember his name."

"I'm sure there are more interesting people out there who would love to go out with you, Beth," Liara pushed her gently.

Shepard squirmed. "Never really been much for that scene, and now … they're all interested in 'Commander Shepard'. They want to talk about the war, the Reapers ..." She grimaced and shrugged. "I'd rather stay in. What's with the sudden interest in my social life? Did someone ask you out?"

Was that an edge of jealousy in her voice? "No." Liara shook her head, gesturing to her belly, which was on its way to exceeding her most pessimistic expectations. She was going to look like a whale at nine months. "A pregnant woman doesn't exactly scream 'available'."

She'd meant it to be humorous, but Beth looked guilty. "Liara, I'm sorry -"

"Don't," Liara stopped her. "I chose this freely, and I don't regret it. Feeling Hannah growing in me … I wouldn't give it up for anything. There will be time enough later for … other things."

Beth nodded, watching her closely. "Not all men are like Feron was," she offered quietly.

"I know that," Liara replied awkwardly. They had talked about many aspects of her life with Feron, but she had not yet been able to bring herself to divulge the aspects of her physical relationship with the drell. He had been her first lover – her only lover so far – and she was afraid that the dark games he had been obsessed with had left her scarred. He had humiliated her, dominated her, hurt her … but there had been physical pleasure and arousal mixed in with it, her body responding often against the will of her mind, confusing and shaming her. Would she ever be able to have a normal sexual relationship, or had her body become so conditioned to Feron's degradations that it would respond to nothing else? She shuddered inwardly. She would live a life of celibacy before she would return to that.

Beth was still watching her. She knew that there were details that Liara had not shared with her, but as with other things, she never pushed. "Or women," she suggested. "Maybe that would be easier -"

"Beth, I'm fine!" The words came out more sharply than she'd intended, because the one person – male or female – that she harbored any interest in was sitting beside her, urging her to become involved with someone else.

"I'm sorry." Beth stood, looking chastened. "It's none of my business, I know. I just worry about you, Lia."

"You don't have to be, Beth," Liara replied, reaching out to catch her hand, distressed at having caused her friend any pain. "I'm where I want to be right now."

"So am I," Beth said softly, brown eyes holding hers in a way that had her heart missing beats. She gently extricated her hand from Liara's grasp. "I'll go start lunch."

Liara was left in the living room, alone with the chaotic tumble of her thoughts. There were times – most of the time – when she thought she could be perfectly happy with the current state of platonic cohabitation, that they could raise Hannah Benezia together as the best of friends. But more and more, the lines felt blurred. Beth's arm around her shoulders, the way she reached out for Liara's hand as they walked, sat right beside her on the couch … did even the best of friends touch that way, that often?

Yesterday, she had been hard pressed to identify any differences between the way Ash and James walked together and the way she and Shepard did. The other pair kissed, yes, and certainly Beth didn't imitate Vega's habit of playfully pinching his wife's behind, but apart from that, any onlooker could have mistaken them for two couples on an outing. Certainly, the sales clerk at the baby furniture shop had, and while Beth had corrected her when she had called Liara Mrs. Shepard, she hadn't seemed embarrassed or upset at the error. Liara had caught Ash watching them speculatively more than once that afternoon, and even James had shot her a questioning look as they had left the shop, though whatever he had been about to say had been cut off by his wife's elbow in his side.

She was distracted from her ponderings by the sudden touch of a sleepy mind as Hannah stirred into the twilight world of semi-wakefulness where she was spending more and more time. The gossamer brush of her daughter's mind was more than enough to make Liara forget all about other matters. There were no words exchanged, for Hannah knew none; it was a pure and silent communion of emotion and sensation: love, contentment, warmth, safety, peace. Liara could have happily lost herself in the precious bond for hours on end.

"She's awake?" Liara opened her eyes to find Beth standing in the door to the kitchen, watching her and the scent of cinnamon, yeast and butter filling the air. She glanced at the clock, not at all surprised to find that better than half an hour had elapsed since she checked it last.

"She is,"she confirmed with a smile. "She's spending more and more time awake."

Beth nodded. "How's she doing?"

"Very well." Liara hadn't missed the faintly wistful tone or the yearning in Shepard's eyes. "Would you like to feel for yourself?"

"You can do that?" Beth asked, trying to be casual about it, not quite able to conceal her eagerness at the suggestion.

"Of course." Liara felt foolish for not thinking of it earlier. She hadn't joined her mind with Shepard's since the mating meld, and she felt a faint tremor of anxiety, but she wouldn't be hiding as much from Beth now as she had been then. And she wanted to make up for snapping at Beth before. "Just come sit beside me."

Shepard settled next to her on the couch. Liara shifted slightly so that they were facing each other, then took both of Beth's hands in her own, lacing her fingers with one and lifting the hem of her loose fitting blouse to place the other over the curve of her belly. For all the ease she seemed to feel regarding physical contact, Beth had rarely touched her stomach since she had started to show, which probably wouldn't have struck Liara as unusual were it not for the amazing array of total strangers who seemed to think nothing of doing just that, as if patting a pregnant asari's belly would bring good fortune.

She waited for Beth to still, watching her expectantly. She drew a steadying breath, caught between anxiety and anticipation. "Embrace eternity," she murmured.

As before – as always – the meld was smooth, effortless, but now, as they became _they_ , there was another entity, hovering at the verge.

 _Hannah._ Awe and wonder radiated from Beth, flowing through Liara, joining with her own emotions, amplifying them. She felt Beth reaching out to the tiny mind, felt a sudden surge of curiosity as their daughter became aware of the new presence.

 _She feels me!_ Beth's elation surged through them, sweeping Liara up in her joy, and then suddenly, as easily as the initial meld had been, they were three. It was a bond that Liara had heard of, the joining of both parents with a child, but it was rare, something she had never expected to experience, because it only occurred between bondmates and their offspring, and not even all bondmates, but Beth was _not_ her bondmate, and -

The impossibility of the situation was quickly overwhelmed by the sweet reality of it, and Liara immersed herself in the bond, feeling Beth and their daughter learning each other, the bond weaving them even closer together with each synchronized heartbeat, every shared breath, and she could feel the warmth of amniotic fluid swirling against their skin, hear the steady rhythm of their heart, felt so safe and cared for and loved.

Loved.

She felt Beth's focus shift, realized too late that she had let some of her barriers slip, felt her surprise, felt also something new, something that she had never felt in any of their previous melds, and she broke the contact, ended the meld in a sudden flare of panic.

She opened her eyes, found Beth staring at her, brown eyes wide and stunned, but afire with an intensity that had never been there before. Shepard leaned in slowly, carefully, the brush of her lips gentle. That first kiss was everything that Liara had dreamed of: soft and tender, exploring and coaxing, ending briefly only to return, bolder now but still so very gentle that she could not help but respond, her lips parting to allow the delicate press of a warm tongue, meeting it with her own, feeling Shepard's arms sliding around her, drawing her closer as the kiss deepened.

 _No._ She pulled back, struggling against the embrace. "Beth, please, don't!"

"I'm sorry!" Beth released her quickly and scooted back, looking alarmed and confused. "Lia, I'm sorry! What -"

"I can't, Beth!" She shook her head, almost overwhelmed by the bitter irony. She had wanted this for so long, but now - "I can't!"

"But … why?" Beth stared at her, the confusion in her face growing. "Liara, I l-"

"No." Liara cut her off before she could say the word. "No, you don't."

"Yes, I do!" Shepard protested, clearly baffled. "I love you, and you -" she faltered a bit, awareness sinking in as she processed what she had felt during the meld. "You've loved me for -"

"Four years," Liara finished for her, resigned. Her secret was out. "Four years, and in all that time, as many times as I have joined my mind to yours, I have never felt anything from you but friendship until today." She shook her head, refusing to cry. "Don't you see, Beth? It's not me you love. It's the baby."

"What?" Beth was looking at her as though she had taken leave of her senses. "No! I mean, of course, I love Hannah, but do you really think I'd -" She trailed off, looking as wounded as Liara had ever seen.

"Not deliberately, Beth. Many sentient species produce pheromones during pregnancy that serve to increase the attachment of a partner, which improves the chance for the survival of the offspring."

"Pheromones." The hurt and confusion on Shepard's face was rapidly being joined by irritation. She stood suddenly, pacing in agitation. "You honestly think that I can't tell the difference between my own feelings and a chemical reaction?"

"Then why?" Liara cried, frustration boiling over. "Why now, after all these years? Goddess, Beth, if I'd thought there was a chance you could feel that way about me, do you think I'd have ever let Feron -" She broke off, sagging in defeat. It was too late; she was damaged goods. The things Feron had done, the things she had allowed him to do … if Beth knew, she would turn away in disgust. She _couldn't_ love Liara, not really, because she didn't know the ugly truth.

"Lia, please." Beth took a step forward, reaching out to Liara, her face a play of emotion: guilt, sorrow, and – the one thing Liara had never wanted to see – pity. "Just let me -"

"No!" Liara pulled away from her, gripped by an anger that she could neither explain nor control. "After all this time, I'm supposed to jump for joy because the great Commander Shepard finally considers me worthy of her affections?" Goddess, what was she saying? "Or is it because I'm no longer the Shadow Broker that you suddenly consider me worthwhile?"

"What?" Shepard stared at her, looking totally flummoxed now, but Liara didn't stop. Couldn't.

"I don't want your pity, Beth," she said coldly, turning away from her, her heart breaking. "Or your love. If I wasn't good enough for you before, I'm certainly not now. If it's a bedmate you're looking for, as I said before, I'm sure there are any number of people out there who would be happy to volunteer."

A long silence, then, "Do you really think that's all I want?"

"That's all you ever seemed to want before." In her belly, she felt Hannah stirring, disturbed by her mother's inner tumult. She placed her hands over the swell of her abdomen and tried to send reassuring thoughts.

"I -" Beth began, then faltered into another long silence that was broken by a beeping noise. "The cinnamon rolls are done," Shepard said tonelessly, retreating again to the kitchen.

The cinnamon rolls stayed on the counter, uneaten, for the rest of the day as Liara and Beth maneuvered around each other in awkward silence. Shepard's hurt and confusion were almost palpable, and Liara was miserable, still unable to understand what had made her say such horrible things, but also unable to free herself from the unreasoning anger that still roiled within her. Unable to trust herself not to lash out again, she stayed silent, eventually pleading fatigue and going to her room much earlier than usual.

She had not expected to be able to sleep, and she did not, but alone, she could finally release the tears that she had been restraining. What had happened? What was _wrong_ with her? She had been offered the very thing she had so yearned for, and not only had she destroyed it, she had likely shattered her friendship with Beth, as well.

Shepard did not sleep, evidently did not even try. She wasn't overly noisy, but Liara could still hear her prowling restlessly through the flat, puttering in the kitchen. More than once, she paused outside Liara's door, but never came in, never spoke. Each time, Liara feigned sleep, and after many hours, she did drift into a fitful slumber plagued by dreams where she was back in the bed she had shared with Feron, bound but not gagged, calling him 'master', saying all the other things that he ordered her to say, telling him that she loved what he was doing to her, wanted more, even as tears ran down her face. The dreams weren't new, but for the first time, Beth was there, watching in disgust before turning away.

 _This is all you're fit for, Liara. This is what you deserve._

Those dreams gave way to others, where it was Beth in the bed with her, Beth's hands on her throat, Beth's voice calling her slut and worse as she did all the things that Feron had done, and when Liara finally struggled awake, she felt even more exhausted than she had when she had drifted off. Body and soul aching, she made her way to the kitchen and stopped in the doorway, staring.

Shepard was wearing her Alliance dress uniform, her hair back in the neat, tight bun that she'd worn when she was on duty. Glancing toward the living room, Liara saw her seabag leaning against the wall beside the door.

"Beth?" she said in a small voice.

Shepard turned when she spoke. Her face was tired, drawn, in sharp contrast to the crisp uniform and neat hair, and she wore a guarded expression that Liara had never seen before.

"Hackett asked me to be present at the dedication of the new joint military academy on Palaven," she said quietly. "Special forces groups from every species in Citadel space will be able to train together, learn each others weapons, techniques."

"That ... sounds useful," Liara managed to say, fear rising. "When ... when did he ask you?" She hadn't mentioned it before.

"Last week," Shepard admitted. "I wasn't going to go, but – Hey." Consternation touched her voice as the tears suddenly began spilling from Liara's eyes.

"Beth, I'm sorry," she murmured, her voice breaking. "I never should have said those horrible things. I just – just -" She turned away, despair trying to overwhelm her, because she still didn't understand why she had gotten so angry at Beth, and now it really was too late, because she had driven her away -

"Liara. Listen to me? Please?" Beth touched her shoulder, the lightest of pulls urging her to turn back around, and after a moment, she complied. "Lia, you're my best friend," Shepard told her earnestly. "That means more to me than anything, and I'll cut off an arm before I let myself hurt you again the way I managed to yesterday."

Liara shook her head. "Beth, that wasn't your fault -"

"Yes, it was," Shepard insisted. "Part of it, anyway … probably most of it. I think I know what I feel, but for your sake, Hannah's sake, I need to be sure. I need some time alone, to think, get my head together."

"How … how long?" Liara asked, dreading the answer.

"I'll be back Friday," Beth promised. "Four days, no more than that. And Lia? No matter what, if all you want from me now is friendship, then that's what it will be. You and Hannah are the most important things in the world to me, and I'll do whatever you need me to do."

 _Stay._ Liara wanted to say it, couldn't. She made herself nod. "Be careful?"

"I will." Beth started to lean forward to kiss Liara's forehead, visibly stopped herself and stepped away, moving to the door and shouldering her seabag. "I'll see you Friday."

"Yes," Liara told her … but the sound of the door sliding closed sounded so very much like goodbye.

* * *

"How could I be such an idiot?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"No. Not like I don't already know."

"Good, because I'd hate to have to beat it into you. You get a free pass this time because it wasn't you she was pissed at."

"Not that I'm not grateful to be spared a beating, but how do you figure that? It was damn sure me she was yelling at."

"That's because you're safe. She knows you're not going to slap her around for it. You think she'd have said any of that to that sack of shit? It's actually good to see her showing any spine at all."

"It didn't feel good. She's hurting, Aethyta. I did that to her."

"You ever had a soldier get a leg blown off?"

"Yes, but if that comparison is supposed to make me feel better -"

"I don't really give a shit how you feel, so how about you shut your trap and let me finish? A lot of times, they don't even feel it right away. The worst wounds don't hurt at first; that numbness is the body protecting the mind. The hurting doesn't start until they're safe, out of danger, and the healing has started. Then it hurts like a sonuvabitch."

"You didn't hear her, Aethyta. Crying in her sleep, talking to Feron … talking to me like I was … doing whatever the hell he did to her. I wanted to puke."

"Like I said, you're safe for her to be mad at. Give her time, she'll figure out who she's really pissed at. You are planning to come back, aren't you?"

"Of course, I am! By Friday."

"Good. I'm already hunting that fucking drell. I don't need another name on my list. I'll keep an eye on her."

"I talked to some of the others; they'll be dropping by, too."

"No drell on the list?"

"No. Kolyat's back on Kahje -"

"I don't need a fucking dossier. Just making sure there won't be any cases of mistaken identity."

"There won't be. Kasumi and Sam helped me program the security system. We got enough DNA from their flat to key it to him. He gets inside the perimeter of my flat, the place goes into lockdown, and he'd better hope that the police get there before any of the others on the alert list."

"And why am I not on the alert list?"

"Because I know damn good and well that you've got your own surveillance set up. Is my flat bugged?"

"Not inside. Didn't figure I needed to, but I might as well get this out of the way: Shepard, what are your intentions toward my daughter?"

"I – is what she said about the pheromones … could it be true?"

"Oh, sure … if you're a fucking tree shrew with a frontal lobe the size of a peanut. Which I'm beginning to think may be possible. You seriously believed that?"

"I'm a soldier, not a biologist, Aethyta. I was afraid of hurting her. She's the best friend I've ever had, and I love her. I just want her to be happy, and if that means that we can't ever be more than friends, I'll live with that, but no matter what, I'll take care of her and Hannah."

"Good enough for now. Go do what you gotta do, Shepard. I'll see if I can help her pull her head out of her ass while you're gone."

* * *

 _A.N. - I wanted to keep this story strictly from Liara's POV, which left me in a bit of a bind when it came to the scenes between Shepard & Aethyta, which I also wanted. The dialog only option was my solution, and I'm rather pleased with the way it works. It helps that Aethyta has a really, really strong personality that is relatively easy to get across in dialog._

 _We're about to embark on my favorite part of this story: the crew visitations. I've already got a roster lined up, but I'm going to try to flesh out some thin spots, so if anyone has any special requests or ideas, I'm open to suggestions!_


	7. Chapter 7

_A.N. - Movin' right along! Thanks as always to those of you who have read/faved/followed, with special thanks to my reviewers: littlechiqui, CainVulsore, Will4ever, Aeowyn99, Razorfist, JestaAOK11, KalenCaelli & trekker1982!_

 _Grunt was a popular request, and a krogan invasion is indeed on the list, but I've got a few others who wanted in first._

* * *

 _ **Monday**_

After Shepard left, Liara wandered aimlessly through the flat. She'd been there alone before often enough, but she had never felt so alone as she did at that moment. Four days … assuming Beth did not decide to extend her sojourn, rather than return to an ungrateful basket case of a best friend.

No. Beth always kept her word. Four days, then. Four days to brood about what would happen when Shepard returned, if she would still want Liara, if they could still remain friends if she didn't or if Liara's histrionics had shattered the bonds that had once seemed unbreakable. And if Beth _did_ still want her, would Liara be able to... Goddess, she would go mad if she did nothing but stay in and think!

 _Damn_ Feron! Damn him for what he had done to her, what he was still doing to her. Damn him for the fear that gripped her at the thought of going out alone. She gritted her teeth; she would not be ruled by her fear. She _would_ go out, and if he was fool enough to think her vulnerable because she was alone, she'd -

The chime at the front door distracted her from her grimly determined plans, and she sighed. Beth would have told Aethyta she was leaving, of course. Resigned, she went to the door, checked the monitor, blinked in surprise and opened it.

"Good morning, Dr. T'soni."

"Good morning, Glyph," she murmured as the drone zipped by into the flat. "Good morning, Samantha."

"Good morning, Doctor," the communications specialist replied cheerfully. "Don't close it yet."

Because it was Traynor and Glyph, Liara wasn't feeling particularly apprehensive, but she still jumped a bit when Kasumi shimmered into view just inside the door.

"Exterior equipment functioning properly!" the thief announced. "You can close the door now."

Liara did so, then turned, staring bemusedly at her unexpected guests. "Did Beth tell you to come over?"

"She said she was going out of town for a few days, asked us to tweak the security system," Kasumi replied as Traynor and Glyph converged on the control panel. "Didn't mean to startle you, but I didn't want to advertise where everything out there is located."

"Feron knows how to get through security systems," Liara told her. Beth hadn't gone into detail, but what Liara would always think of as the Normandy crew all knew that the drell was not to be allowed near her. She'd been grateful that none of them had pressed for more information, but she cringed inwardly at times when she let herself wonder what they thought. But could any of their imaginings be worse than the truth?

"Not this system, he doesn't," Samantha proclaimed, frowning in concentration as she manipulated the haptic interface. "We've got overlapping zones of surveillance in concentric circles out to a hundred meters. Sensors monitoring sensors from ground level up to twenty meters high. Motion detection and infrared tied into state-of-the-art biometric identification software algorithms and genetic scanning, all of it keyed to his unique parameters. Kasumi helped me set it up."

"Kasumi Goto approved," the thief put in, "which means that I know both people who could beat it … and I'm one of them."

Samantha looked up, her frown deepening to a scowl. "Who is the other?"

"Can't tell … unless you reconsider my invitation to a life of crime," Kasumi replied blithely. "I may not be stealing for a living any more, but I still have my scruples. Besides, they wouldn't be interested."

"Wouldn't matter if they were," Sam sniffed. "Glyph just helped me boost the sensitivity of the genetic sensors. If Feron sends someone else, even if he just closes the deal with a handshake, they'll have enough of his DNA on them to trip the alert."

"And then the incinerators kick in!" Kasumi said enthusiastically.

Liara felt her eyes widen. "Incinerators?" Beth hadn't mentioned those.

"Just kidding," Kasumi told her with a grin. "Not that Shep didn't think about it, but we decided that would be too messy. If you're here, it'll just put the flat into lockdown mode. A stray thought couldn't get in without permission from you or Shep. Then it sends signals to the response team."

"I did incorporate the neural feedback programs from the Kepesh-Yakshi game, though," Sam added, looking pleased with herself. "It won't incinerate him, but if he touches the physical structure of this flat, it'll zap the snot out of him, should keep him nicely immobilized until the response team arrives."

"Who is on the response team?" Liara asked. Beth had been a bit vague about that.

"Pretty much … everybody," Traynor said, peering at a scrolling list. "Miranda, EDI, Cortez, Jack, Lieutenant Vega and the missus -"

"Ashley is pregnant!" Liara exclaimed.

"Yes, I mentioned that to her." Sam grimaced. "I don't recommend even seeming to suggest that her condition might compromise her combat capability. It was … awkward." She studied the list on the screen, made a couple of adjustments. "Garrus and Tali are off planet, but they asked to be kept on the list," she murmured. "They could probably help with disposing of the body."

"That's not funny, Samantha," Liara protested.

Brown eyes regarded her, suddenly serious, and she felt a wash of longing for Lisbeth that was almost painful. "It wasn't a joke, Liara," Traynor replied quietly. "You're our crewmate and our friend. The Commander gave Feron the opportunity to walk away. If he tries to get to you and the baby again, he doesn't get a third chance."

* * *

After seeing Sam and Kasumi (and Glyph) out, Liara examined the security console, assuring herself that there really were no incinerators involved. She had known about the system's existence, but she had not realized the scope and complexity of it. Her own technical skills were far from paltry, but looking at the interface, Traynor's virtuosity was plain. She wasn't sure whether to be touched or embarrassed that such trouble had been undertaken for her sake, and for a threat that was surely nonexistent. Feron had nothing to gain by approaching her again, and everything to lose. He was no fool.

Her stomach gurgled, reminding her that she had eaten very little the previous day. Wandering into the kitchen, she opened the refrigerator and stared. Shepard had done more than wander the flat last night. The shelves were filled with neatly stacked and labeled containers of the foods that Liara liked best: lasagna, lobster macaroni and cheese, jambalaya, Thessian shellfish stew, chicken and dumplings. More food than she could eat in a week.

She let the door swing closed and stepped away, tears brimming in her eyes again at the caring evidenced in the gesture, feeling that she had certainly done nothing to deserve it and missing her best friend more than ever. Hannah was beginning to stir; she needed to get control of her runaway emotions. She returned to the refrigerator, and opened it, deciding on the mac and cheese. She had just put it in the oven to heat when the chime at the door signaled another visitor. Aethyta this time, she thought, hastily wiping her eyes, but when she checked the monitor, she realized that she had forgotten an appointment.

"Hello, Doctor," she said as she stepped aside to let Dr. Chakwas in.

"Hello, Liara." Karin's greeting was friendly, and she made no mention of Liara's red and swollen eyes. "Sorry I'm a bit late. The skycab decided to take the scenic route."

"I'd actually forgotten you were coming today," Liara apologized. "Beth won't be here. She … had to go out of town."

"Yes, she sent me a message," Chakwas confirmed, moving into the living room and settling down her bag. "Lie down, and let's have a look at the two of you."

Liara complied, feeling miserable. It was the first of these checkups that Beth had missed. "We … we had an argument," she admitted.

"I guessed as much," the doctor replied calmly, "and if her expression on the vid hadn't been enough to tip me off, your stress levels certainly would have." She frowned at the readout on the scanner.

Liara felt her stomach twist in anxiety. "Is Hannah all right?" she asked, sitting up suddenly. "I didn't eat lunch or dinner last night, and -"

"She's fine, Liara," Karin assured her. "Infants are considerably more resilient than most new parents think. I'm much more worried about you."

The human physician was barely half Liara's age in years, but there was an undeniably motherly air about her that had only grown more pronounced since her retirement, and it had never appealed more to Liara then now.

"Beth … told me she loved me," she said falteringly.

"About time," Karin snorted, then looked at Liara closely before adding in a gentler tone, "Or too late?"

"No. Maybe. I don't know." She shook her head. "You knew how I feel about her." It wasn't a question.

Chakwas nodded. "I think that everyone except Lisbeth has had that figured out for some time now," she said gently. "Our intrepid Commander is unfortunately not as quick to grasp emotions as she is enemy tactics, but I've always felt that she'd open her eyes sooner or later. The two of you have had a special bond since we were chasing Saren, but with the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders, romance never seemed to cross her mind."

"I thought I'd accepted just being friends," Liara went on, "but with Hannah … I'm just afraid that she only thinks she feels that way because of the baby, and I'm even more afraid that she'll believe that's why I did this. It's not!"

"No one who knows you would ever believe that, my dear," Karin told her, "and Lisbeth knows you better than anyone. And the baby might have made her understand what you mean to her, but it's not the basis of her feelings. I'd bet my pension on that, and never worry about the bills."

Liara bit her lip, wanting to believe. "Feron said -"

"Feron wanted you dependent upon him," Karin cut her off, her words measured and deliberate. "And to accomplish that, he had to separate you from any other support. He lied to you, plain and simple."

"How – how much do you know?" Liara found the courage to ask.

"I know that when Beth called me over that night, I found an intelligent, courageous and capable young woman whose confidence had been beaten down to nothing." The doctor's expression was harsher than Liara had ever seen, green eyes cold with anger. "Shepard let him off too easily."

"I made her stop," Liara admitted. "I felt responsible for him. I still do sometimes. He was captured while helping me, tortured for helping me. It's what made him this way -"

"Bullshit." The unexpected vulgarity from the usually gently-spoken physician startled Liara. "You knew him for a matter of days before he was captured; hardly any time to judge with any surety what his personality was or was not like at its core. And he was able to control himself around everyone _but_ you, and do it quite convincingly, which tells me that he was _not_ in the grip of some irresistible compulsion. He chose to do what he did to you, and he concealed it because he knew that it was wrong. That is my definition of evil. You deserve far, far better than that."

"Part of me still doesn't believe that," Liara sighed. "I don't know if I'll ever believe it completely, and I may have driven Beth away."

Karin chuckled, the sound as unexpected as the vulgarity moments before. "Lisbeth Eleanor Shepard give up on anything? If she were that type, the galaxy would have fallen to the Reapers long ago. I've known her for most of her thirty-three years, and I have never seen her look so content as she has these last few months with you. The two of you were made for each other. It may have taken her a ridiculous amount of time to figure it out, but now that she has, I can promise you she won't walk away from it."


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Notes: Apologies for the delay on this chapter. Life continues to show no consideration for what I want to be doing with my time._

 _Thanks as always to those who read/fave/follow, with shout-outs to my reviewers: sassy-russian, devildoc35, Will4ever, GriffinResult, ValeriNeria, Acfcrystal & pbj6895._

* * *

 _ **Tuesday**_

" _Yo, Blue! The old ball and chain – OW! - my wife wants to go check out baby furniture at the store we were at this weekend."_

As excuses went, it was rather transparent, but Liara was ready to get out of the flat, and uncertain where to go. Solitude had always before been a time for study, research, perhaps a bit of light reading, but staying in right now felt like hiding. Simply wandering alone had no appeal, however, and seeing Ashley was always welcome.

"That sounds good," she told James. "When shall I meet you?"

" _Already got transportation arranged,"_ he replied. " _Pick you up in thirty?"_

"All right," she agreed, knowing that protesting that she was perfectly capable of calling her own cab would be unheeded. Undoubtedly, Shepard had asked Vega to look out for her, and the young Lieutenant took orders from Lisbeth 'as if they came out of a burning bush', according to his wife. She'd had to do a bit of research on the extranet before she understood the reference.

She dressed, grimacing a bit at the loose-fitting tunic that covered her belly and the elastic-band pants that she had once sworn never to wear. Why couldn't she have been one of those lucky few who kept their shape until late in the pregnancy? Ash, she was glumly certain, would be one of those.

Once she was ready, she settled on the couch and let herself slip into wordless communion with her daughter. Hannah grew more aware by the day, responding readily to her mother's presence in a mental equivalent of cuddling that Liara simply couldn't get enough of. Even there, though, she missed Beth. Maybe even more than other times; though Shepard had only participated in the maternal meld once, it had felt so right, so complete, that the bond felt lessened without her presence.

The doorbell chimed, and Liara allowed the meld to dwindle down to the delicate thread of awareness that always remained between them as she rose to answer it.

"Your chariot awaits, milady," Steve Cortez announced with a bow and a smile.

"Steve!" she exclaimed, surprised and genuinely glad to see the pilot, then added, "Please tell me Shepard didn't rope you into this, too."

"Nope," Cortez replied easily. "She just mentioned that she'd be gone, and you might not mind having the best pilot in the Alliance as a personal chauffeur."

"The best pilot?" She gave him a sideways glance as he accompanied her to the skycar. "What would Joker say about that?"

"He'd agree," Steve said without hesitation. "He's the best helmsman without doubt, but when it comes to light craft, you're flying with the master." His grin belied the seeming arrogance of the statement, but there was definitely a swagger added to his calm confidence that hadn't been there before. It suited him.

"You look good, Steve," she told him warmly as he settled in beside her and fired the engine.

"Thanks. I feel good," he told her, engaging the mass effect generator. "I … met someone." The swagger gone, he looked suddenly as shy as a schoolboy admitting to a crush.

"That's wonderful, Steve! What's his name?" She had a brief flutter of anxiety at having assumed gender, but it was quickly put to rest.

"Eric. Eric Connolly." Steve's smile spoke volumes. "He's a mechanic. Civilian. I met him at the skycar races this spring. We've been dating about a month. Guess I need to bring him to meet the family soon."

"Your parents?" Liara guessed, but he shook his head.

"Nah, they've both been dead for several years," he said with a gently bittersweet smile that spoke of ones fondly remembered and well missed. "I meant Shepard and you, James and Ash, the rest of the crew. They're my family now."

 _The crew._ Though most of them no longer served together, to each other, they would always be 'the crew', even those who had served on different Normandies, at different times. They had been bound together by the long fight against the Reapers, and by the Commander that they all respected and loved.

"You're looking good yourself, Liara," Cortez observed.

"That's kind of you to say, Steve, but I feel like a beached whale," she replied ruefully.

He chuckled. "That feeling will pass," he predicted, "and you'll forget all about it when you're holding that baby."

"Yes," she agreed, putting a hand on her belly and smiling as she felt Hannah kick. Foolish vanity could not long hold against the wonder of the life growing within her.

"Esteban!" Vega greeted the pilot as he held the seat forward to allow Ashley to climb into the rear seat, then squeezed his bulk in beside her. "Good to see you, man!"

"Mister Vega. Missus Vega," Steve replied in turn, settling in and closing the hatch. "Where to?"

Vega gave him the address and leaned back, draping an arm across Ashley's shoulders. "You and Shepard decide which furniture you're gonna get?" he asked.

Liara shook her head. "We didn't have the chance to discuss it before she had to leave," she told him, hoping she didn't sound as awkward as she felt. "We'll talk it over when she gets back." _I hope._

James nodded. "Figured with me shipping out to finish my training in a coupla weeks, we'd go ahead and get some ideas."

"You're going to complete your N7 training?" Liara asked him.

"Hell, yeah," he responded. "Made it to N4; it'd be _loco_ not to go all the way. They were nice enough to give me extended time for a honeymoon, but they're startin' to drop hints that I need to get my ass back in gear."

"That whole 'saving the galaxy' thing does get you some nice perks," Cortez agreed. "Ash, I've heard rumors that they'll be offering you the Normandy, now that her repairs are done. Care to confirm?"

Ashley shifted around, looking uncomfortable. "They have, and they told me to take as much time as I needed after the baby comes. They'll put her under an interim CO. She is an ideal support vessel for a Spectre, but ..." She trailed off, shaking her head slowly. "It just doesn't feel right for anybody but Shepard to be commanding her, that's all."

"Beth would be the first to tell you to take it, Ash," Liara told her.

"She already has," Ashley said with a wry smile. "I need to think about it. They haven't given me a deadline yet, so I've got time."

Vega insisted upon Steve accompanying them into the mall, and once they arrived at the furniture store, 'remembered' that there was a shop that specialized in armor upgrades on the next level and dragged the pilot off with him.

"He lost interest in baby furniture rather quickly," Liara observed as she entered the store with Ash.

Ashley chuckled, shaking her head with an affectionately resigned expression. "He's a little short on subtlety, but his heart's in the right place," she said, before her brown eyes turned to Liara, gently inquisitive. "How are you doing?"

 _I'm fine._ The words rose instinctively to her lips, but this was Ashley, one of her oldest and dearest friends. "I've been better," she admitted quietly.

Ashley nodded. "Shepard hasn't told us too much," she said, "but I still kinda want to break his legs."

"That's … sweet of you, Ashley," Liara said with a faint smile, "but not really necessary. I think I could handle Feron now; it seems unreal now that for so long, I let him -" She dropped her eyes. She'd never let him touch her again, but she still wasn't able to speak aloud about what he'd done. What she'd allowed him to do.

Ashley gave her her silence for a long moment, then said, "Someone tells you often enough that what you're getting is what you deserve, you start believing them, even if part of you knows it's not true."

Liara lifted her eyes to her friend. "Sounds like the voice of experience talking?"

Ash nodded. "Not as bad as what you probably went through, but yeah. I enlisted in the Alliance straight out of high school and spent the next nine years with people treating me like a pariah because of who my grandfather was. Some of them came right out and said it, some didn't, but the message was loud and clear. Crap details in colonial garrisons; no matter how good my ratings were, it wasn't enough." Her face hardened. "I even had one lieutenant tell me that if I wanted to get the Williams name out of the mud, I'd have to do my part to raise morale." She kept her tone light, but the lingering bitterness still bled through.

Liara stared at her, appalled. "Did you report him?"

"Her," Ash corrected her with a sardonic smile. "And no. Would have been my word against hers. I just kept my head down and did my job until they found an excuse to pass me off to someone else. Shepard was the first CO I'd ever had who didn't write me off because of my name. I wouldn't be where I am now if not for her." She paused, snorted. "I'd have been dead on Eden Prime if not for her and Kaidan." Her eyes softened a bit as she added, "If it's a boy, we're going to name him Kaidan."

"It's a lovely way to honor his memory," Liara told her. Too many of those who had fallen in the long war against the Reapers had been forgotten by all but those who had known them best. Kaidan Alenko's death on Virmire had been one of the earliest casualties. "What if it's a girl?"

"Don't know yet," Ashley replied. "We thought about naming her after Shepard, but it seems like half the galaxy is doing that." She glanced at Liara, her eyes dancing with mirth. "You heard what Wrex named his three?"

"Yes," Liara said with a laugh. The two boys were named Lisbeth and Eleanor, while the girl had been named Mordin. Unsurprisingly, none of the krogan had pointed out the incongruity to their leader. Or maybe it simply didn't matter to them. "It would make play dates difficult if they all share the same name."

"Wouldn't it, though?" Ash chuckled, then shook her head bemusedly. "Seems strange, doesn't it? A couple of years ago, we weren't even figuring on living through it all, and now our kids will be playing together. Sometimes I have to pinch myself, make sure I'm not dreaming."

"It is hard to believe at times," Liara agreed. Both the good and the bad seemed almost equally surreal. The months with Feron. Carrying Shepard's baby. Lisbeth telling her –

Ash was watching her closely. "I think we've all earned a few happy endings," she offered gently.

"I … don't know," Liara floundered, feeling the familiar sting of tears. "Ash, I said some horrible things to Beth before she left."

"She forgave me for almost shooting her," Ash reminded her. "And pregnant women are allowed to be a little crazy sometimes. You and Shepard belong together. Now that she's finally figured that out, she's not gonna just walk away. She loves you, Liara, and I know that you love her."

"Have I been that obvious?" Liara asked, feeling a blush heating her cheeks, even as her friend's words settled the worst of her anxiety. Ash knew Beth better than anyone, except perhaps Liara.

"Probably not to someone who doesn't have three younger sisters," Ashley told her with a smile. "I've seen everything from puppy love on up, and what's happening between you and the Skipper? It's the real thing."

"Thank you." Liara wondered what dogs had to do with it, but the gist of Ashley's meaning was clear. "So, did you really want to look at furniture, or was this all just a ploy to get me to talk?"

"Might as well look while we're here," Ash replied amiably, not bothering to deny anything. "But since it's likely that the kid's going to take after Daddy, my primary criteria is gonna be 'sturdy'."

They spent a pleasant half hour wandering among the displays, ending with Ash placing a down payment on the brightly colored polymer set, declaring that the combination of strength and easy cleaning made it perfect.

James and Steve were waiting just outside the store, their postures intended to be casual, but Liara didn't miss the fact that their position gave them a clear view of anybody entering or leaving the store.

"Personal chauffeur and bodyguard?" she teased Cortez.

He shrugged with that easy smile of his. "A little caution never hurts."

"Yeah," Vega agreed. "If that _pendejo_ is stupid enough to still be around, won't hurt to remind him that there's people besides Shepard who'll twist off his head and shit down his neck." He popped one massive fist into the other palm with a sound like a rifle shot, turning heads of passers-by.

"Down, honey," Ash told him affectionately, looping her arm through his and tugging him toward the exit. "Don't know about you, Liara, but this pregnant lady could use some food. Lunch?"

"That sounds wonderful." It had been over two hours since breakfast, after all, and while a few weeks earlier, the mention of Feron would have robbed her of her appetite, she wasn't sure what was currently more heartening: the growing confidence that she _could_ handle the drell on her own, or the awareness that she didn't have to.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Wednesday**_

"Hi, Liara."

"Hello, Grunt." Liara wasn't surprised, though she did wonder which of the crew had coordinated the visiting schedule. Less than an hour after Cortez had dropped her off following lunch yesterday, EDI had arrived, declaring that Joker had decreed an afternoon of 'chick flicks'. The idea that Joker had suggested the playlist had been more than a little unsettling, but fortunately, _Vaenia_ was nowhere in evidence. _Fleet and Flotilla_ , _Check and Mate_ , and _She's A Keeper_ provided a full afternoon's combined viewing and discussion of the actual romantic customs of the various species as opposed to how they were portrayed for the sake of broad cinematic appeal. "Bakara, Wrex, it's wonderful to see you!"

"Had to talk to the Council, anyway," Wrex declared, turning to study the surrounding buildings before lumbering inside. "Any chance the pyjak's hanging around out there?"

Liara shook her head. "With the security system that Samantha and Kasumi set up, we would know." She knew Feron's skills, and as good as they were, they stood no chance against the combined talents of the two women. Her sleep might be troubled, but it was not from the fear that he would gain access to the flat.

"Pity," Wrex grumbled, shrugging his massive shoulders. "The whelp and I were going to turn his skull into a biotiball."

"I appreciate the thought," Liara told him, "but Feron hasn't been seen on Earth in several weeks. He's probably long gone."

"He'd better stay moving, then," Grunt declared with a predatory smile. "The bounty out on him is going to make him very popular."

"Bounty?" Liara stared at him with a sinking feeling. Surely Beth hadn't -

"Your father's doing," Bakara clarified, settling her bulk on the reinforced sofa that Shepard had purchased for just such visitors. "I can see the krogan influence in that one," she observed approvingly, loosening the sling that had been secured across her hump.

"It doesn't seem to have translated to the next generation," Liara admitted, unsure for once whether to be relieved or rueful at the notion. No krogan would have submitted so meekly for so long.

"There is strength in you," the krogan matriarch stated with calm surety. "It simply requires the right fire to ignite it. How is the child?"

"Growing," Liara replied, approaching to peer at the trio of bundles that Bakara laid out on the sofa cushions. "They're so tiny," she marveled. Their heads were even larger in proportion to their bodies than adult krogan, and they seemed to be all eyes and mouth. It seemed impossible that they could grow to be Wrex's size.

"They're large for their age, actually," Bakara said with pride. "Possibly due to the smaller clutch size."

"Or possibly just really good genes," Wrex suggested, looking down at his offspring with obvious satisfaction.

"I'd heard that the clutch sizes have been much smaller than historical data suggests," Liara said. Considering that historical data recorded up to one-thousand fertilized eggs per female per year, she had to wonder if Mordin had done a bit more tweaking to the genophage cure than he had let on.

Bakara nodded. "But there are clutches now," she said. "Almost every female who has bred has laid eggs, and the babies are strong and healthy. None stillborn. That is worth a lower clutch count."

"Just means that we have to breed more often to make up for it," Wrex observed with a lecherous grin at his mate. "Even the whelp is getting into the act."

"You have a mate?" Liara asked the young krogan, but Wrex uttered a bark of laughter.

"Mate? He's bred almost as many females as I have!"

Grunt puffed up visibly at his leader's words. "There is one though," he said. "Taraka. She's special … a warrior, like Shepard." His blue eyes gleamed with a fierce pride. "Our children will be strong."

"I'd love to meet her, Grunt," the asari told him, "and I know Beth would, too."

"You will," he promised. "I will bring her once her eggs have hatched. Our children should know their clan and _krantt_."

"Particularly this one," Bakara added, nodding toward Liara's belly. "It will be good for them to have a companion whose lifespan can match theirs." She cocked her head, gentle humor in her eyes as she added, "Perhaps one of our children will even take your daughter as a mate."

"It's possible," Liara agreed, trying not to dwell on more somber thoughts suggested by Bakara's words: that Ash and James, Garrus and Tali and all their children would age and die while krogan and asari lived on for centuries. That Beth would likewise age and die. She'd told Shepard once that the asari were pragmatic about such things, treasuring the time they had with shorter lived mates, but would she be able to apply such principles to herself, if it ever came to that? "You think you could live with an asari in the family?" she teased Wrex, putting such broodings away for the moment.

He shrugged. "Already got one," he rumbled, "and any kid of Shepard's isn't going to be lacking for breeding requests on Tuchanka."

The offhanded statement was enough to bring tears to Liara's eyes – damn her crazed hormones – but she was saved by Grunt.

"I got a present for the baby," he announced, looking immensely pleased with himself as he rummaged in the pack he'd been carrying, coming out with -

"It's … lovely, Grunt," Liara managed, accepting the offering and turning it this way and that. "It's -"

"It's Kalros," he supplied helpfully. "Hottest toy on Tuchanka right now."

It was indeed the Mother of All Thresher Maws in miniature, reproduced in surprising detail in the plush figure that was perhaps two feet in length, with the gently bobbing tentacles adding another foot.

"Some salarian company started making them, can't keep them in stock," Wrex put in. "This was the last one they had in the shop; Grunt and I had to do some serious headbutting to get it."

"Thank you," Liara told them, more genuine warmth in her words now. "I can understand why Kalros would be popular."

"She is the pride of Tuchanka," Bakara confirmed. "The thresher maw that defeated a Reaper."

"The maw hammers are getting used again," Wrex added. "The clans and krogan from all over the galaxy come to see her and offer her food. Think she's added another ten meters since the war ended … not that anyone's measured her."

"What … does she eat?" Liara asked, trying to calculate how much meat would be required to sustain that vast bulk.

"Mostly metal and minerals," Wrex said. "People bring loads of stone, old wrecks. Tuchanka's loaded with that kind of stuff. Some offworld pyjaks bring gold, platinum, brand new machinery, but Kalros doesn't give a damn. She eats it all … plus anyone who gets too close to the offerings." He chuckled suddenly. "Had a documentary crew show up, wanted to record a vid with 'extreme close-up'. Specially shielded cameras and everything … except they forgot to shield themselves. Still waiting to see if she shits out the cameras. If the memory chips managed to survive, ought to be some good footage."

"Your appointment with the Council is in half an hour," Bakara reminded her mate.

"Yeah, yeah," Wrex grumbled. "Wouldn't want to miss that."

"What are you meeting with them about?" Liara asked.

"Obtaining rights to more planets to colonize," he replied. "I've beaten down the idiots who can't think of anything but taking over the whole damned galaxy, got the clans putting their energy into rebuilding Tuchanka, but having some extra territory to expand to should help shut up the holdouts, and if the fertility rate holds where it is, it should be a few generations before we outgrow them."

"Not everyone is happy about that," Grunt put in with a scowl. "The idiots would rather claim territory through conquest, even if it turns the rest of the galaxy against the krogan."

"The females are satisfied, however," Bakara said. "Better that every female bear fewer children than none bear them at all. The genophage can be re-created, should the krogan again be perceived as a threat, and would likely be far worse than the original was. The female clans agree that such foolishness cannot be allowed to doom our race, and we _will_ stand firm."

"My secret weapon," Wrex chuckled with an evil grin.

"Do the other males object to you enlisting the females' support?" Liara asked him curiously, but it was his mate who answered.

"Those who wish to breed have learned not to," she replied serenely. "Generations of focus upon nothing but conflict have brought our people to the brink of ruin. Adversity will remain the fire that tempers us, the stone that sharpens us, but the blade of our strength can no longer be allowed to cut indiscriminately."

"And if no sex isn't enough of a motivation, I crack their heads," Wrex finished, adding with considerably less enthusiasm, "All right, time to go play politics. C'mon, whelp. You need to learn to do more than fight."

"You mean for when I'm old and toothless like you?" Grunt shot back, but he followed his clan leader out the door.

"Is Wrex grooming him as a successor?" Liara asked Bakara.

"Perhaps in time, if none of our offspring is suitable," the krogan replied, "but his immediate goal is to encourage the young bloods to think beyond their next battle, to focus on what will help all krogan, not simply themselves or their clan."

"Did you want to go with them?" Liara asked. "I could watch the little ones for you."

Bakara shook her head. "Wrex and Grunt can handle the Council. The children will need to eat soon, and I do not think that an asari's anatomy is adapted to the task."

"No, it isn't," Liara agreed. Krogan females fed their young by regurgitating partially digested food from their second stomach. "Would you like something to eat, then? Beth left enough food to feed a small army." And she'd managed to make an embarrassing dent in it on her own.

"Human food tends to be too mild for krogan tastes," Bakara remarked, "but Shepard did recommend something called 'Thai' to me."

"That does sound good," Liara replied with a rueful smile as her own stomach gave an approving gurgle, "and I know a place that delivers."


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note: Apologies for the delay. Life got busy again, but still the good busy, so I won't complain. As a thank-you for your patience, I fleshed out Jack's appearance a bit and added Friday, as well._

* * *

 _ **Thursday**_

"You're late!"

There was no real bite to Jack's bark, so Liara didn't really feel guilty. "I had to get a shower. You woke me up when you called." She'd not been surprised at the request; Thursdays had always been Beth's day to work with Jack and her students.

"At ten o'clock in the f-" The biotic glanced over her shoulder. "In the morning?" she amended swiftly. "You going soft on us, T'soni?"

"Just lazy," Liara assured her. She had been in bed, but not hiding from the world or feeling sorry for herself, simply indulging a pleasant somnolence, dozing lightly while her dreams feathered at the edges of Hannah's.

Jack cocked her head, dark eyes taking the asari's measure, weighing her words. Apparently satisfied, she nodded and turned away, saying, "C'mon, the kids are waiting."

The 'kids' had been students at Grissom Academy, biotics being trained in the use of their talents by Jack. After Shepard had foiled an attempt by Cerberus to take over the school and force students into service, they had entered the war as a support squad, providing biotic barriers and backup to the front lines. Most had survived, but their faces made it painfully clear that they were no longer children. Some had remained under Jack's tutelage to continue improving their talents; others stayed because they had nowhere else to go, their families and home worlds destroyed by the Reapers or cut off by the damage done to the mass relays.

They gathered around her now, their gazes curious, and not simply because she was an asari known for her biotic talents.

"You're having Commander Shepard's baby, aren't you?" Kiley Rodriguez asked her.

"I am," she replied, bracing herself for queries about her relationship with Beth, which would be awkward, since she wasn't sure of it herself. There were moments she felt ready to fly apart in her readiness for Lisbeth to return, but then the doubts would crowd in. There had been no word from Beth since she'd walked out the door. Not even an e-mail. She had said she would be back tomorrow, but what if she wasn't? What if she did come back, but had changed her mind? What was she supposed to tell Jack's students?

Jason Prangley spoke up first. "Man, that kid's gonna be a biotic powerhouse!" he exclaimed enthusiastically. The rest began chiming in, but the questions that they peppered her with had to do with asari biotic training, how soon the infant's abilities would manifest.

Looking past them, she met Jack's eyes, and the tattooed woman gave her a wink and a grin, then pointed to a table set up beside a camp stove. "All right, we're not here to play twenty questions! Pair off, grab some eggs and get ready to work on precision drills! Last ones finished get to do the breakfast dishes … by hand!"

She moved among them, watching as they attempted to crack and scramble eggs using only biotic fields. It was noisy … and messy, with shrieks, insults and eggs flying in approximately equal amounts until a sharp reprimand from Jack got them down to business. Even then, it was far from neat; most of them sent the eggs spraying up from the bowl, or spinning wildly over the edges. Only Kiley held a tightly controlled field, cracking the eggs and neatly separating the shells with tiny motions of her fingers, then placing her hand on the bottom of the bowl and swirling the contents into a homogeneous yellow liquid that she poured into the skillet that Jason held out to her. Her smile had a confidence that had only bloomed in the last few months.

"She's gotten so much better," Liara congratulated Jack.

"Yep," was all the biotic said, but her expression spoke volumes. "She's got tighter control than any of the others, and I'd have missed it, if not for Shepard. Precision's not my strong point," she added with a smirk, plainly not troubled by the fact.

"That's always been Beth's talent," Liara observed, a slight frown touching her lips as her eyes flitted from face to face. "You're missing a couple, aren't you?"

Jack nodded. "Anderson and Lopez," she confirmed, seeming unconcerned. "Mass relays to their colonies are up; they went home for a visit. They'll be back in a few weeks."

"More are coming on line every week," Liara told her.

"Some of them don't have homes to go to," Jack replied, her expression impassive. "Rodriguez was a spacer brat; her mother was stationed with the Second Fleet. Taylor's family was on Arcturus."

Liara simply nodded, feeling the all too familiar tightness in her throat. Tales of death and loss had become all too familiar in the months following the defeat of the Reapers, but each new one still affected her.

Jack shrugged. "They're ours now. Part of the crew, and we take care of each other." She nodded toward the swell of the asari's belly, the cocky grin back in place. "That goes for the biotic powerhouse, there. Once you and Shepard are done teaching her precision, bring her to me, and I'll show her how to kick ass."

The omelets tasted wonderful, even with a few egg shells included.

* * *

 _ **Friday**_

"You done with your pity-party yet?"

"Hello, Father." Liara stepped aside to let Aethyta into the flat. "I'm surprised it took you this long to make it by."

The matriarch shrugged. "Figured the company you were having was doing you some good. I'm shit at offering comfort, so I figured I'd wait until you were ready for my specialty."

"Insults and overly intrusive advice?" Liara guessed, not particularly surprised that her father had kept tabs on her guests.

"Exactly," Aethyta grinned at her. "Now, how about we get out of here and you buy me lunch someplace?"

"Someplace" turned out to be the Thai restaurant, though they got a table inside.

"So, you figured out what you're gonna do?" Aethyta inquired with her usual frankness as they waited for their food.

"I … don't know." Liara shook her head. "I suppose I should wait to see what Lisbeth wants now." No calls, no messages. Maybe she had changed her mind.

The matriarch rolled her eyes with an exasperated huff. "Yeah, and she'll wait on you, and the kid will be shaking her ass in a bar before either of you makes a move. You just need to drag her into the bedroom, tear off that uniform and -"

"Father, please!" Aethyta was, as usual, not being quiet, and heads were turning. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm getting as big as a house. I'm hardly in any condition to seduce anyone."

"Are you kidding?" the matriarch snorted. "Have you looked at your rack lately? When Nezzy was pregnant with you, I couldn't keep my hands off her!" She'd lowered her voice, at least, but that was still a mental image that Liara could have done without.

"If she was that … appealing to you, then why did you leave?" she shot back in a low voice.

Aethyta sobered and looked away, silent for a long moment before she answered. "She wanted me to marry her," she said quietly. "Me. Smartass, in-your-face, no manners me, married to beautiful, smart, classy Benezia T'soni." She shrugged. "I panicked. Took off, fucked anything that caught my eye … and threw away the best damn thing I ever had." Her eyes met Liara's. "Don't make the same mistake."

Plates were set before them, and Liara used the food as a distraction. She wanted to point out that she wasn't the type to have indiscriminate sex, but she knew that was not the point her father was trying to make.

"I'm afraid," she whispered at last, twirling her chopsticks through the last remaining rice noodles on her plate. "If I meld with Beth, she'll see … everything."

"Everything that piece of shit made you do, you mean?" Aethyta asked, eyes glinting dangerously..

"Everything I let him do," Liara replied, fresh shame heating her cheeks.

The matriarch shook her head. "That wasn't you. That was what he turned you into. He fucked with your head, kid."

Liara bit her lip. She'd allowed him to do that, too. "That doesn't change -"

"The hell it doesn't," her father said irritably. "Look, if it was Shepard that'd had done to her … whatever he did to you, would you blame her for it? Think any less of her?"

"Of course not." Intellectually, it made sense, but the spark of fear in her chest refused to listen to reason. "I just … don't know how to -" How to let go of the fear, how to trust after having her trust so badly abused, how to believe that Lisbeth Shepard could really love her, want her.

"Just don't run," Aethyta said, her voice gentler than it had ever been. "Give her a chance to show you that you're worth it."

She nodded and swallowed hard, tears stinging her eyes. "I -"

"Yeah, I know. Don't get mushy." Aethyta waved her off, but her eyes shone brighter than usual. "I got this," she announced briskly as the waiter approached, handing him her card.

"Thank you," Liara told her. "Did you want to come back to the flat for coffee?"

"Nah. Got stuff to do." Aethyta shook her head and stood. "I'll talk to you next week."

She left; Liara stayed a bit longer, finishing the last of her food, more from the awareness that Hannah required the nutrition than any real appetite. Sitting alone in the flat, waiting for Beth to return … if she did return, held little appeal, but neither did going out alone. Maybe she could call Tali, see how she and Garrus were doing.

She left the restaurant and made her way home … and it _was_ her home, she realized with a bittersweet ache. Home in a way that the flat she'd shared with Feron had never been, and she wanted that, wanted _more_ , but Goddess, what if she couldn't -

She deactivated the security protocols, opened the door and stared.

Flowers. Single blooms, massive bouquets and everything in between were scattered in vases around the room. Thessian lilies; desert blooms from Rannoch; roses by the dozen in delicate shades of lavender, pink, yellow; every type of flower she had ever admired over the years was here, delicate fragrances swirling together in the air, and -

"Hi."

Beth stepped from the kitchen, still in her uniform, looking every inch the dashing Alliance officer, but the tension that had marred her features earlier that week was gone, replaced by an expression that made Liara's heart start to flutter; the brown eyes were gentle, more than a bit apprehensive, but beneath that, the tender intensity was unmistakable. In one hand, she held a single red rose.

"Hi," Liara echoed, joy and fear running a race in the rapid patter of her pulse. She'd come back. She'd come back.

"I was hoping Aethyta would keep you out long enough for me to finish," she gestured around the flat, looking sweetly shy, "this."

"It's beautiful." She wasn't particularly surprised to learn that her father had been a co-conspirator. "I wasn't sure you'd be back today." She tried not to sound reproachful. "You hadn't called." But she had said she'd be back today, and when had Beth ever lied to her?

She felt even worse when Beth looked guilty instead of offended. "I wanted to," she said softly, "but I wanted to give you time to think, to be able to tell you that I'd taken the time to think, even though I was sure before I'd even been gone a day."

She took a step closer, then another. "This … has been the hardest week of my life. I couldn't think straight, I butchered my speech at the dedication ceremony," she added sheepishly. "I missed you. I missed Hannah, too, but she wasn't the one I couldn't stop thinking about. It was you."

Liara couldn't speak, could barely breathe as Beth took another step, her free hand reaching out to the asari's. "I love you, Liara T'soni," she said, her voice steady, her gaze unwavering. "I don't know how I missed it all these years, but I know it now, and there's not a doubt in my mind. Will you give me the chance to prove it to you?"

Liara looked down at their joined hands, back up into gently pleading brown eyes. "Beth, I -"

"I know you're afraid," Shepard said when she faltered. "I know that what he did to you left you afraid. We can take it slow, as slow as you want. I just want to be with you. Will you let me, Liara?" She held the rose out. "Please?"

Liara's hand trembled as she reached to accept the rose, but her voice did not. "Yes," she said softly, her fingers curling around the stem as she stepped in closer. "Yes, Beth," she whispered, tipping her face up to meet Shepard's gentle kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

It was the gentlest of courtships. True to her word, Lisbeth allowed Liara to set the pace without pushing. There were long walks, Beth's fingers twined with her own, or a strong arm lightly encircling her shoulders or waist.

Dinners, either in restaurants or at home, alone or with friends, talking together unhurriedly about the future of their daughter or the events in the lives of their former crewmates, the gentle brush of Shepard's thumb against her hand saying as clearly as any words that plans specific to the two of them could wait until Liara was ready, that Beth wasn't going anywhere.

Evenings curled up together on the couch, watching vids or slow-dancing in front of the fireplace to romantic music, Beth's arms around her, and Liara's head resting contentedly against the Commander's shoulder as they swayed together.

Nights spent spooned together, Beth's front to her back and the human's arm draped over the increasingly prominent swell of the asari's belly that did not seem to bother her in the slightest, tender but very nearly as chaste as siblings, with Liara wearing her nightgown and Beth her N7 tank top and shorts.

And the kisses. _Goddess_ , the kisses!

Gentle expressions of affection when they were out and about: tender brushes of lips against her temple, her cheek, her mouth, always keeping within the bounds of propriety while never leaving any doubt as to the emotion behind them. Slow, deep kisses that grew steadily more heated as they twined together on the couch, the vid playing on the screen forgotten in their increasingly urgent explorations: tongues gliding and probing, teeth nipping and grazing, gasped breaths gusting against skin that prickled at the touch.

The kisses set Liara's blood on fire, left her aching for more, but Beth never touched her anywhere until Liara had first given permission, guiding her hands to where she desperately wanted them, and even with their clothes between them, those touches made her feel as though she might burst into flame.

Beth's hands gliding over her arms, her shoulders, moving up briefly to frame her face as they kissed, fingers slipping back to dance lightly against the ridges of her crest, sending sparks of pure sensation crackling down her spine to ignite a molten heat in her core. Her frustration when those talented and gentle hands left her crest shifting to anticipation as they found the curve of her breasts, sliding between their bodies to cup them before beginning to knead slowly, thumbs circling achingly sensitive nipples beneath the concealing fabric until Liara tipped her head back, panting, baring her throat to the velvet heat of her Commander's mouth as she buried her fingers in the silken tumble of raven hair, loving the way it felt as it flowed through her hands.

"Making out", Beth called it, and it felt so gloriously good that she couldn't help but want more, and she would straddle Lisbeth's hips, rocking and whimpering as those gentle hands moved over her hips, the swell of her stomach, then back to cup the curve of her ass, Beth's breath coming as hard and fast as Liara's and the need to meld, to consummate almost a physical imperative.

But then the memories would crash in, and the dreams, and melding meant not only that Beth would see what Feron had done to Liara; she would see that Liara dreamed about Lisbeth doing those same things to her. Her body would stiffen, arousal dashed away as if by a sudden dousing of ice water, and then she would crumple in defeat. But Beth never chastised her, or even showed any disappointment; no matter how flushed and aroused, her touches would shift in an instant from erotic to comforting, and she would cuddle the asari, murmuring reassurances and wiping away her frustrated tears. Each time, it seemed that they got a bit further, but that only seemed to make the crashes that much harder and more frustrating.

By unspoken consent, the bed was reserved for sleeping and cuddling. Liara had been sharing Beth's bed since a few days after her return, and if it did not completely banish the nightmares, it meant that she had immediate comfort when she did awake from one, Beth always seeming to know instinctively just how long to give her space and time to come back to herself and when to close the distance between them for a tender embrace. Going to sleep and waking up with Shepard's arms around her was beyond wonderful, but she could still not stop yearning for that _more_ that she knew was possible.

* * *

Liara woke with a gasp, heart pounding and an unfulfilled ache throbbing between her legs. The clouds that had been gathering at dusk had made good on their promise: rain rattled against the windows in a steady downpour, accompanied by low rumbles of thunder and flickers of lightning behind the drawn blinds.

"Bad dream?" She could feel Beth behind her, keeping her distance, waiting to be sure that her touch would not trigger panic.

She shook her head. "No," she managed, her voice thick with sleep and desire. "A good one." So very good. Untainted by darkness, it had been a minor miracle, if it had only gone on a bit longer ...

Beth shifted closer, the length of her body pressing against Liara's from behind, one arm draped over the swell of her pregnant belly. "Was I in it?" she wanted to know.

"Yes," Liara breathed. "We were … making love." There had been no fear, no sudden twist into sadistic torment. Only she and Lisbeth, naked and moving together with love and desire and a steadily rising passion, and Goddess, she had been so _close_!

Shepard was silent for a long moment, and Liara realized that she could feel the Commander's heart beating rapidly against her back, realized that her bedmate had likely heard whatever sounds she had made when she was dreaming. Perhaps the thought should have embarrassed her, but instead it quickened her own pulse still more and intensified the ache of arousal. Slowly, carefully, the hand on her belly shifted to her hip, and Liara felt her breath catch.

"Beth," she whispered and stopped, caught between fear and desire.

"We don't have to meld," Beth murmured in a husky voice, lips brushing against her aural folds, along her neck. "Just let me make you feel good, Lia. Please, love, let me finish what I started in the dream."

The hand on her hip didn't move, wouldn't unless she gave her consent, but the heat from that simple touch seemed to burn through the thin cloth of her nightgown and dance along her skin. She nodded wordlessly, found her voice. "Yes. Yes, Beth … please."

She tipped her head back against Shepard's shoulder as Beth slid her hand lower, slipping beneath the hem of the gown and brushing briefly over the skin of her thighs before moving upward again, nudging aside her underwear and -

"Oh!" The first gentle brush of fingers made her shudder, hips rocking in an instinctive need for more contact. Beth slipped her free arm beneath the asari, pressing slow, wet kisses along her neck and shoulder as her leg hooked around Liara's, gently spreading her wider.

"That's it," Shepard breathed tenderly in between kisses. "That's it, baby. I've got you. You're safe." So very soft and slow, the fingers brushed through the drenched folds: up, down, up again and then, Goddess, _inside_ , filling her so gently, so completely, so perfectly, pressing in and withdrawing, again and again, slow and deep in a cadence that Liara matched, breathless little cries all that she could manage as the simmering arousal from the dream flared into an inferno that consumed her with a speed that she had never experienced.

She cried Beth's name aloud as she shattered, her hands gripping Shepard's wrist, holding tight as she bucked hard against the delicious thrust of those fingers, taking them deeper, harder, waves of ecstasy rolling through her, and her body demanding more, and more still until her climax subsided at last, leaving her panting and trembling as she sagged back against Beth, stunned by the sheer intensity of her release.

There were tears on her cheeks, but Beth's lips gently brushed them away, and when she tried to speak, Shepard silenced her with a kiss. "Hsssh. I love you, Lia," she whispered when their lips parted. "I love you so much."

She felt a pang of loss as Beth withdrew her fingers, but strong arms encircled her as Shepard continued to whisper endearments. Her body afloat in a sea of endorphins, cradled by a gentle embrace and tender words, Liara drifted into sleep to the sounds of the storm outside and the feel of her lover's steady heartbeat.

* * *

When Liara woke the next morning, she was alone in the bed. That was not unusual; Lisbeth was usually the first to rise, and the soft clatter from the kitchen confirmed that she was holding to her morning routine and preparing breakfast.

The storm had blown itself out during the night, and the glow of sunrise was visible at the edges of the blinds. Liara rolled onto her back and stretched, luxuriating in the soft sheets and the memory of the previous night. It had been so very beautiful, and utterly unlike anything that she had ever experienced, even in the early days with Feron. Gentle, tender and focused completely upon Liara and her pleasure. Just thinking about it now made her heart speed up and her mouth go dry. She brushed her hands up over the curve of her belly to her breasts, remembering Shepard's touch.

 _Goddess._

She floundered out of the bed, feeling Hannah stirring to wakefulness. A tiny foot kicked once, but when Liara touched her mind reassuringly, she settled, the developing mind radiating contentment. She reached for her robe, then hesitated; Lisbeth's N7 hooded jacket hung from a hook on the wall. After another moment of indecision, she stripped down and put the jacket on, grimacing as she zipped it up over her ridiculously swollen abdomen. She stood in front of the mirror, studying herself, trying to ignore the dismayed voice that protested that she looked grotesque. Lisbeth seemed to find her pregnant body quite arousing, and the jacket displayed it well, though it barely covered the curve of her ass. In the kitchen, she found Beth at the stove, back to her as she laid bacon on a hot skillet.

"Good morning," she said softly, pausing in the doorway, apprehension fluttering in her chest.

"Good morning," Lisbeth responded cheerfully, glancing back at her. "I hope you're -" The glance became a double-take, then an open-mouthed stare, the desire flaring to life in the dark eyes plain even at a distance. Liara crossed to her quickly, pulling her into a fierce kiss. There was a brief clatter as the skillet was moved off the burner, and then Liara found herself being lifted to the top of the counter, her legs nudged apart and Beth moving to stand between them, kissing her with a fervor that would likely have rendered her knees incapable of supporting her.

"I love you, Beth," she murmured when they finally came up for air. "And I want you. I want _us_." She caught Lisbeth's hand, guided it beneath the hem of her jacket to the curve of her hip. "But I'm afraid."

"I know. Don't be." Beth kissed her again, gently this time. "I can wait until you're ready," she began, but Liara shook her head vehemently.

"I'm tired of waiting," she protested. "I'm ready now." Her fingers moved over the smooth skin of Beth's arms and shoulders, feeling the lithe muscle beneath, drinking in the contrast of its warm caramel hue with the white of the tank top. She had never seen Beth naked; she nudged the strip of material at the shoulder aside and leaned forward to press her open mouth to the skin there, the faint tang of sweat against her tongue. Beth groaned softly, her fingers gripping Liara's bare thighs, and then her mouth was at the asari's throat, breath hot on her skin as teeth grazed and a skilled tongue flickered. She wrapped her legs around Shepard's waist, ankles locking together, and for several fiery moments, she was sure that Beth would make love to her right here on the kitchen counter.

Instead, Shepard drew back slightly, breathing hard and face flushed. "You're sure?" she asked, and Liara knew that even now, Beth would restrain herself; it made Liara want her all the more.

"Goddess, yes!" she breathed. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life." She tangled her fingers into the dark hair, pulling Shepard into another kiss. "Make love to me, Beth," she whispered when they parted. "Please."

"Yes." Beth's arms slipped around her, lips nuzzling along the line of her jaw, then lower, and she tipped her head back, the last remnants of her fears almost drowned out by the desire surging through her. " _God_ , yes." The collar of the hoodie was nudged aside, and the kisses trailed the curve of her collarbone, then stilled. "Not just yet, though."

Confusion and disappointment lanced through the arousal, but when Beth lifted her head, the look in the brown eyes: tender humor and a smoldering promise, reassured Liara even before she spoke. "I'd better feed you breakfast first," Shepard said, one hand moving to splay over the curve of the asari's belly, "because once I get you into that bed, there's no telling when I'll let you go."


	12. Chapter 12

_Author's note: Writer's block is a bitch. So is real life. My apologies to you all & I hope this makes up for it a little bit._

* * *

As much as she wanted to protest, Liara knew that the notion was a sensible one, so after a final kiss - or three - she released Beth to complete her breakfast preparation, a task that Shepard accomplished in near-record time, though not without frequent pauses for brief kisses and caresses that kept desire simmering close to the boiling point. The act of eating turned into foreplay, with Lisbeth feeding her sliced strawberries and melon with her fingers, dark eyes watching her lips wrap around each morsel with a hunger that had nothing to do with food.

As soon as the meal was done, the normally fastidiously neat soldier left the breakfast dishes on the table, taking Liara's hand and leading her to the bedroom. Liara followed eagerly, anticipation and trepidation fluttering together in her belly, joined by confusion when Lisbeth's hands covered her own, stopping her as she reached up to unzip the hoodie.

"Not yet," Beth told her, leaving her own nightclothes on as well and guiding her onto the bed. They lay facing each other, not quite touching until Shepard reached out, her fingers brushing with exquisite gentleness over Liara's cheek.

"Four years," she murmured, regarding the asari with a mixture of wonder and regret. "How could I not have realized ..." She trailed off, shaking her head.

"You were a little busy," Liara told her, bold enough to bring her own hand to Beth's face, tracing its lines. Shepard tilted her head into the touch, closing her eyes briefly.

"I was," she agreed. "The Alliance was all I knew, all I knew how to be. That was my life." Brown eyes opened, staring into Liara's with a tender intensity that had the asari reminding herself to breathe. "You're my life now," she went on, her thumb tracing the curve of Liara's lower lip. "You're all I think about, all I want. Making you come last night … feeling it ..." She drew an unsteady breath, and Liara felt the tremor in her hand. "I've never been that turned on by anyone in my life. I want -" A groan rumbled in her chest, and she closed the distance between them, the kiss hot and hungry. Liara met it eagerly, moaning into her mouth, her fingers tangling in Shepard's hair. After a fiery moment that felt frustratingly short, the human drew back, breathing hard. "I love you, and I want you, but -" she whispered, the brush of her fingers tender, her eyes worried. "You're afraid."

"Not of you," Liara answered truthfully. The naked desire in the Shepard's gaze felt like it might set her ablaze. She wanted Beth as urgently as she was wanted, in a way that she had never wanted Feron, but the memory of the drell's dark needs refused to be banished. "It's just … when we meld ..."

"Not until you're ready," Beth assured her, "and if you want me to stop -"

"Stop?" Liara gave a shaky laugh. "Beth, if you don't _start_ soon, I will not be responsible for the consequences!"

The sweet worry in Shepard's face melted into amusement, desire smoldering in dark eyes. "That sounds rather tempting," she teased, but she drew close again, the kiss slow and tender. Liara readily parted her lips, her tongue meeting Beth's in a sensual dance, their hands finding each other, caressing through clothing, mirroring the makeout sessions on the couch as Shepard took her time, building the fire slowly but surely. Deft hands slipped over Liara's shoulders, down her back, over her hips, fingers brushing over the bare skin of her thigh, and the asari tipped her head back, panting as Lisbeth sucked and licked at the flesh of her throat. Clinging to the strong shoulders, she squirmed closer, frustrated by the ungainly swell of her belly, hooking a leg over Shepard's.

"Beth -" Her whimper was answered by lips claiming hers again, a tongue flickering against her teeth, stroking slow and deep as the soldier's thigh nudged between her legs, pressing up against the throbbing need at her center.

 _Goddess!_ A keening cry wrenched from her lips, and Shepard drew back slightly, breathing hard.

"May I?" she asked softly, her hands moving to the zipper of the hoodie, brown eyes watching Liara's face.

"Please?" The press of the muscled leg was something she had never experienced with Feron; she rocked her hips experimentally, and goddess, the _friction!_

Shepard smiled tenderly at the whimper that escaped her, then dipped her head to nuzzle at Liara's skin as she tugged the zipper down. Bit by bit, she drew the cloth aside, claiming every revealed inch of skin with lips, tongue, teeth, fingers, but when Liara tried to tug at the tank top, she shook her head.

"Not yet," she whispered again. "I want to make you come first." The dark eyes burned with a determination that Liara knew well: Commander Shepard was on a mission. "I want to make you come so hard," she growled, her breath hot against Liara's skin as she pressed open-mouthed kisses over a bare shoulder and lower. "I want to feel it." Her fingers tugged the zipper below the curve of the asari's belly, pushing the jacket fully open, and Liara gasped as her hand swept inside, over the bare skin and up, cupping her breast for the first time with nothing between them, lips trailing fire down the slope until -

"Beth!" Her lover's name escaped her in a joyful gasp as Shepard covered the taut nipple with her mouth and sucked hungrily, teeth teasing at the sensitive peak, tongue laving the pebbled flesh. Liara squirmed frantically, trying to match the movement of the thigh that was pressing between her legs, feeling clumsy and inexperienced, but Shepard dropped her hands to the asari's hips.

"Like this," she whispered breathlessly, guiding her into a rhythm. "Like this, baby ... that's it ... _God,_ that's it!"

So easy, no need to force or feign, and she quickly matched the cadence, need flaring brighter with each roll of her hips, Beth's name and cries of joyous affirmation all that she could give voice to as she gave herself over to passion, Shepard's husky encouragements filling her ears. It was another dream, it had to be; nothing real could feel this glorious, but she wasn't waking up as she rode Shepard's leg with ever more urgency, struggling out of the hoodie so that she could cling tightly to her lover, Beth's lips on her throat, her breasts, hands caressing her fervently, every touch, every movement feeding into a pleasure that built relentlessly toward critical mass.

The briefest flash of memory tried to intrude, but even as Liara saw Beth recognizing it and starting to draw back, she was lunging forward, kissing Shepard fiercely and grinding hard against her leg, forcing herself past the memory, back into the blissful present and over the edge, her shrill cry caught by Beth's lips, her lover's arms holding her safe as she came undone.

"Too much?" No, it hadn't been a dream, because when she opened her eyes, she was naked in Lisbeth's embrace, the aftershocks of her climax still trilling deliciously along her nerves and Shepard regarding her with worried eyes.

"No," she replied immediately, leaning in to kiss her gently. "It was nothing like what -" She stopped, shaking her head. Bad enough that he had intruded, however briefly, made Beth doubt; she would not sully the sweetness of this moment further by speaking his name. "It was wonderful, perfect." Passionate and tender, her lover again focused completely on giving her pleasure. "Did you even -"

Beth shook her head, seemingly untroubled. "Close though," she admitted with a smile. "Closer than I've ever gotten without actually trying. Don't." A gentle finger to her lips stilled the apology that Liara tried to voice. "Watching you come, feeling you holding on to me ... It was incredible. We've got all the time in the world now."

She shook her head. "I'm done waiting," she declared fiercely, trying to press Beth onto her back but finding herself hampered. "Goddess, I'm as big as a whale!" she groaned, frustrated and embarrassed by the clumsiness of her changed body. "How can you think I'm -"

"Don't." Beth's finger to her lips silenced her again, followed by a tender kiss. "Don't ever think that. This -" Both hands shifted to rest on the swell of the asari's belly. "This is _us_. We made this beautiful little angel together, and if we hadn't, I might never have known. You're beautiful, Lia. You always have been, but now ..." She shook her head slowly, the look in those dark eyes renewing the throb of arousal between the asari's legs. "I've never wanted anyone like this. I want to taste every inch of you, hear you call out my name. I want you. All of you, always. I wasn't joking when I said I didn't know when I'd let you out of this bed; I haven't gotten anywhere close to having enough of you yet."

Reassured, Liara pressed forward again, curling her fingers into the soft fabric of the tank top and drawing it upward. Shepard obliged, stretching her arms over her head and squirming out of the garment, then guided the asari's hands to the waistband of her shorts. She drew them down the long legs and off, then paused, letting her gaze sweep over her prize. Human hair had always fascinated her from a scientific standpoint as a phenotypic mammalian trait that had outlived its evolutionary purpose, but the research she'd done more recently suggested a secondary function, and the sharp intake of breath in response to her fingers brushing over the soft curls at the apex of Lisbeth's thighs indicated that her research had been accurate.

"That didn't hurt, did it?" Her tone was playful, but there was at least a bit of genuine worry behind the question.

"Nope." Shepherd's voice was husky, her breath quickened. "Not a bit."

Bolder now, Liara continued her exploration, clinical fascination quickly giving way to something else. Feeling Lisbeth responding to her touches: every shudder, every gasp and throaty cry, was a power that she had never had over another, and she lost herself in the heady feeling as she sought to find just what would bring her lover the greatest pleasure, almost surprised when Beth surged against her, gasping out her name and rocking hard into the press of her fingers.

"God, woman, I think you killed me," Shepard murmured when her breathing had slowed to normal, drawing Liara close, arms and legs twining together in a tender intimacy that was at least as wonderful as the lovemaking.

"It was all right, then?" Liara asked shyly, running her fingers over the slight sheen of sweat on the trim belly. Perspiration was another unique aspect of humanity; asari crests served to dissipate most excess heat, but while she had certainly seen Lisbeth sweating before, she had never tasted it until now, and she bent her head, the tip of her tongue tracing the path of a drop along Shepard's shoulder, savoring the salty tang, the knowledge that she had been the one to cause it.

A gentle hand beneath her chin lifted her eyes to Beth's. "All right doesn't even come close," Shepard said softly, leaning in until their foreheads touched, "but … you didn't want to meld?" There was no accusation in her face or voice, but Liara still felt guilty.

"Not yet," she managed. "I just … wanted to try it that way first. I just -" She faltered, because even now, she feared that once Beth truly saw her, she would turn away, and she had wanted this one time of unsullied sweetness to hold on to if that happened.

Brown eyes regarded her tenderly, knowing what she could not speak. "It's all right, love," Beth whispered, brushing the gentlest of kisses over her face. "When you're ready."

The words, and the patience and love behind them, gave Liara the courage to dare. "Now," she murmured, catching Beth's face in her hands, looking into her eyes, waiting for the nod that she knew was coming before whispering, "Embrace eternity."

 _Oh!_

Smooth, smoother than any meld she had ever initiated, they glided into each other, swirling together in a dance of minds, emotion replacing sensation: love, elation, wonder. Beth's presence as soft as silk, around her, within her, yearning for the fullness of union but waiting just outside the barriers that Liara could not help but hold up.

 _Let me see, love,_ the thought caressed her, borne on a swell of tender promise. _Nothing will change the way I feel._

Nothing in Liara's century of life had been harder than dropping the walls that hid her most shameful secrets, but Shepard slipped in like a warm summer breeze, giving the memories only the barest attention, her own mind totally unguarded, and the asari realized that Beth had already known what Feron had done to her, guessed it from hearing her nightmares, and had only been waiting for Liara to trust her enough to show her.

 _It's done now,_ Beth's mind promised, wrapping the thought around her, warm and comforting. _He'll never touch you again._ The faintest frisson of anger, quickly dissipating. _And I will never hurt you. They were just dreams._

No anger. No disgust. No judgment. Just her lover's mind, open and waiting for her, and Liara surged forward, the last separation dissolving until it was just _them_ : a soaring union of mind and soul that she had never come close to before, and for a blissful eternity, they were content to just _be_ , soaking in the bond like a prisoner kept in darkness basking in the sun's warmth.

There was no conscious decision to resume their lovemaking. As instinctive as breathing, hands moved in experimental caresses, sending sparks of physical pleasure through the shared bond, and they quickly lost themselves in this new wonder that made their earlier passion seem pale in comparison. Every touch swirled through both of them, every emotion and thought found its perfect mirror in the other, drawing them both up together in a tightening spiral of joyous desire, culminating in a release that felt like a fusion of souls.

They lay together in silence, again content to simply be as hearts slowed, sweat cooled and the link between them faded, until Lisbeth dropped her hand to the swell of Liara's belly.

"We didn't disturb her, I hope?" she asked, looking a little sheepish.

Liara shook her head. "Maternal neurophysiology creates a barrier that blocks all but the core bond with the fetus during sexual activity."

"Good to know." Liara had thought her passion thoroughly sated, but the look that accompanied the words had her heart quickening, but then Shepard bit at her lip, her expression hesitant. "Could we … bond with her again?"

"Of course," Liara responded without hesitation. They had not repeated the miraculous, three-way meld of that day; Shepard had not asked, and Liara had not suggested it, partly because of the painful memories that had followed it and partly out of the same fears that had always held her back. Nothing held her back now, and she drew Lisbeth's mind back into the meld without effort, opening the channels to Hannah and smiling at their daughter's curiosity at Lisbeth's presence.

 _She's grown so much_. Shepard's tone was wistful, and Liara felt a surge of guilt that was quickly answered. _Don't. It's done and past. I've got you both now, and that's all I need._ The surge of love that she directed at Hannah was quickly answered by a swell of wordless happiness from the developing babe that mirrored the bliss in Liara's heart as strong arms wrapped them both in a tender embrace.

 _I want this always,_ Shepard told her. The asari felt her intention and gave a joyous assent as Lisbeth uttered the question aloud:

"Liara T'soni, will you marry me?"


End file.
